Causality
by Kira 47
Summary: An accident on an alien planet throws Captain Janeway into a temporal loop. J/C, P/T **NOW COMPLETE**
1. Prologue

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Huzzah!  The next chapter is finally here!  Sorry for the wait, folks, but I had to get through exams first.  I'll try and post a new chapter at least once a week.  Thanks go out to my beta Jaina Solo for her help with this one.

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER ONE: PROLOGUE

"It's not working!"

"There's a massive chronoton surge building in one of the reactors!" yelled one of the alien engineers.

Tom Paris looked up from his console.  "The containment field is destabilizing!"

"We can stop it!" insisted the chief engineer.

"It's too late, Taman!" yelled Captain Janeway over the blaring alarms.

"We've kept this reactor working for five years!  I'm not about to give up now!"

"The radiation level is critical!" she yelled back, staring him down despite her short stature.

He stared back at her for a few seconds before he reluctantly turned toward the group of engineers frantically trying to avert the crisis.  "Everybody out!"

Neelix, standing near the doorway, began helping people out the door.  "That's it, keep moving.  No need to panic.  Quickly, now."

"I'm reading a tachyon cascade!" began the engineer next to Janeway, running over to a console on the other side of the room.  "I'm going to --"

He never finished his sentence as there was an explosion and the room disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

*

On Voyager, Harry Kim looked up from his console.  "Commander, I'm reading some kind of subspace disruption."

Chakotay checked the console in between the command chairs.  "Source?"

Harry looked up from his station in disbelief.  "It came from the surface."

"I am detecting high levels of tachyon radiation from inside the capitol city," reported Tuvok.

Chakotay rose from his chair and turned towards the security station.  "The away team?"

"The radiation levels are too high.  I am unable to detect them."

He frowned.  "Chakotay to Janeway."

*

Neelix slowly pushed himself off the floor, shaking his head to try and stop the ringing in his ears.  Propping himself up on his elbows, he looked around the reactor core.  There was little sign of the explosion that had ripped through the room aside from the haze of smoke that hung in the air.  Beside him, the chief engineer Taman was regaining consciousness as well.

_Voyager to away team, please respond._

Finally reaching a sitting position, Neelix hit his commbadge.  "Go ahead, Commander."

_What happened down there?  We detected some kind of subspace disturbance._

"We were in the middle of our tour of the power facility when there was a problem with the Mallorian reactor.  We tried to help."

_Is everything all right?_

"I…I don't know.  It all happened so fast.  There was a…a tachyon cascade.  That's the last thing I remember."

_What about the Captain and Tom?_

"They're…"  Neelix looked at the spot where Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Paris had been standing.  He stared in disbelief as he climbed to his feet.  "They're gone."

*

Chakotay's head snapped up and he looked first at Tuvok, then at Harry.  "What do you mean, they're gone?"

*

Neelix walked slowly around the now empty room.  The engineer that had been working near Janeway was just pulling himself up off the floor with a groan.  Except for Neelix and the two Mallorians, the rest of the room was deserted.

"They're just…gone, Commander."

*

Captain Janeway could hear a multitude of concerned and excited voices around her, and she struggled to open her eyes.  They felt like they were fused shut, and it took a great deal of concentration and effort to finally pry them open.

She squinted as the bright light from the roof above her stung her eyes.  When her eyes adjusted to the light, she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, gasping as the room spun around her.  She had to overcome a sudden sharp wave of nausea before she was able to look around the room.  The shapes around her were blurred and indistinct, and she wasn't able to tell where she was.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned her head to see who it was.  The alien faces gathered around her were unfamiliar…except for one.  Her vision was still blurry, but the face looked familiar now that her head was clearing.

"Taman," she rasped weakly, recognizing the engineer.

The one who had his hand on her shoulder looked back at the people standing behind him.  "You know this woman, Taman?"

Taman came closer, kneeling beside her.  "I don't believe so, sir."

She frowned, her mind still feeling sluggish.  "Did it work?"

"I'm sorry," said the alien who still  had his hand on her shoulder.  "I…don't know what you're talking about."

She heard a familiar groan, and looked over to see Tom Paris coming to on the floor beside her.

She turned back to Taman.  "The reactor overload.  Did we stop it?"

"Overload?"

"Your reactor.  It experienced a tachyon cascade."

Taman glanced at his companion, then turned back to her.  "You must be mistaken," he said, frowning with concern.  "We only brought this reactor on line five minutes ago."


	2. Guardian Angels

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER TWO: GUARDIAN ANGELS

_Captain's log, Stardate 54435.7 - We've altered course in response to a distress call from a nearby M-class planet that Seven and Icheb detected a few days ago.  Although we've been unable to establish visual or audio contact, we should be within range shortly._

Captain Janeway exited her ready room.  "Report."

"We've got visual contact," reported Harry.  "They're still transmitting the automated distress call."

"Onscreen," she ordered as she took her chair.

An alien with tanned skin and two rows of bumps above his eyebrows appeared on the screen.  "Mallor Prime to any vessel within range," he said in an urgent tone of voice.  "We have detected an imminent overload in our main tachyon reactor.  It is the only source of power for our planet.  Please, we need assistance."

The signal ended abruptly.

"Mr. Paris," ordered Janeway, crossing her legs, "Increase speed to warp 9."

*

"We're in range," announced Harry.

"Open a channel," she ordered, rising from her seat.

"Channel open."

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.  We detected your distress call."

Ensign Kim's console beeped at him.  "They're responding."

An alien of the same race as the one who had made the distress call appeared on the screen.  "This is the prelate's office.  We thank you for your assistance."

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

"I'm afraid I'm not the person to answer that.  I'll put your transmission through to the main energy complex." 

The screen get blank again and after a few seconds another Mallorian appeared on the screen.  His eyes widened when he saw Janeway, but he quickly regained his composure.  "I am chief engineer Taman."

"You said you were experiencing an overload," said the Captain.  "Can we be of assistance?"

"We've been able to control some of the radiation, but nothing we've done has had any effect on the imminent overload.  The reactor could go critical at any moment."

"Can you shut it down?" asked Chakotay, rising to stand beside the Captain.

"Our people are completely dependent on this reactor.  Until a few years ago, we used sources of energy that polluted the atmosphere until our planet was nearly uninhabitable.  When we developed the tachyon reactor, we converted all our power systems to this new energy.  Shutting this facility down would cripple us indefinitely."

"I didn't even think constructing a tachyon reactor was possible," said Ensign Kim.

"Merely because the Federation has not achieved it does not mean it is impossible," said Seven.  "Tachyon reactors have been considered in theory by many races."

"I'll send down some of my engineers to help you," said Janeway.

Taman seemed to hesitate, but then nodded after a few seconds.  "Thank you, Captain.  Your assistance is…greatly appreciated."

The transmission ended, and Janeway hit her commbadge.  "Janeway to Torres."

_Go ahead, Captain._

"Assemble a team and meet me in transporter room two."

_Acknowledged._

She turned to her First Officer.  "Commander, you have the bridge."  He nodded, and she started for the turbolift.  "Seven, you're with me."

*

The group of officers materialized in the atrium of the main power facility and were immediately greeted by a Mallorian engineer.

"Taman asked that you be brought to the main reactor core immediately," he said, indicating for them to follow him.

"Could we see some of the specifications?" asked B'Elanna as she followed in step behind the Captain.

The Mallorian nodded and handed her an alien PADD.  "We thought you might want to familiarize yourself with our systems."

B'Elanna nodded as she read.  "Carey, go have a look at these flow regulators.  That could be the source of the overload."

Lieutenant Carey nodded.  "Ashmore, Tabor, you're with me." 

The three men moved off in the opposite direction, and the remaining officers followed their Mallorian guide to the main reactor core.

"See if you can regulate the power from the secondary matrix," Taman was yelling up to the second level as they entered.

"Yes, sir!"

He turned his attention to the group as they drew closer.  "Captain, thank you again for your assistance.  Perhaps Afren here could familiarize your engineers with our reactor?"

B'Elanna, Seven, and the remaining engineers followed their guide across the room while Janeway remained with Taman.

"How long have you been using a tachyon reactor?" she asked, walking around the pulsing core.

"Just over five years."

"And you've never had any problems before?"

His eyes narrowed momentarily before his expression returned to normal.  "There were…rumors of an incident when the core was first activated, but nothing since then."  He moved over to a panel next to the reactor.  "This is the system that monitors the core itself."

She moved over to join him.  "When did you first detect the problem?"

"Approximately nine days ago.  Quite frankly, Captain, it's fortunate that we were able to detect the imminent overload at all.  This kind of malfunction was not anticipated by our engineers."

She reached for a button in the corner of the screen.  "Are these your sensor logs?"

He nodded, leaning over to show her another button.  "This will take you back through the records to the first moment when we detected the malfunction."

She hit the buttons and began scrolling through the sensor logs.  She stopped when she found what she was looking for.  "There," she said pointing.

Taman looked over her shoulder.  "Yes, that's when we detected the first chronoton flux."

"Was there anything unusual before you detected the first fluctuation?"

"Not to my knowledge."

She nodded absentmindedly and continued searching.  "Hm," she said suddenly.  She moved farther back in the logs, then forward again past the point that had caught her attention.  "No wonder you didn't notice anything before that point.  Looks like you upgraded your sensors."

He frowned and leaned over to get a better look.  "I don't remember authorizing that."

She pointed at the screen.  "There's almost a tenfold increase in the resolution."

He stood up.  "Prator!"

One of the engineers came over.  "Yes, sir?"

"Were the core sensors upgraded last week?"

"No, sir, not to my knowledge."

When he turned back to the Captain, she regarded him with a raised eyebrow.  "Looks like you have a mystery on your hands."

*

Seven and B'Elanna leaned over the open power matrix, examining their tricorders.

"The chronoton flow is highly erratic," said Seven, standing up.

"Too erratic," agreed B'Elanna.  "The source of the problem must be farther up the core."

Seven walked along the catwalk perched above the main core, scanning as she went.

B'Elanna stood up as well and looked around.  "Whatever it is, we had better find it quick.  The radiation levels in here will be critical in under an hour."

Seven stopped her motion along the catwalk, scanning the core with her tricorder.  "I believe we have a more immediate concern."  She turned around.  "This reactor could experience a tachyon cascade at any moment."

*

Captain Janeway continued investigating the sensor logs as Taman paced.

"Captain, this is a waste of time.  We should be determining how to avert this problem, not investigating how it was detected."

She shook her head.  "I'm sure B'Elanna and her team are doing everything they can."  She frowned as she uncovered more information, and she looked up at Taman.  "It would seem you have a guardian angel."

"A what?"

"A phrase my people use.  It means someone is protecting you." 

He moved over to join her, and she showed him what she had found.  "Whoever made those modifications to your sensors knew what they were doing.  They were attuned specifically to detect this malfunction in your reactor."

He leaned forward.  "How is that…"  His jaw set and he stood up straight.

"Is something wrong?"

He shook his head.  "It's nothing, Captain.  If you'll excuse me, I need to speak with my engineers."

Her eyes narrowed as she watched him move off abruptly.

"Captain?"

She turned around to see Seven and B'Elanna approaching her.  "Have you made any progress?"

Seven glanced at B'Elanna.  "Unfortunately, no."

"We could be looking at a cascade core overload," said B'Elanna.  "The radiation levels are rising and Seven says there could be a tachyon cascade any moment."

"Have you detected any signs that this may not be a natural phenomenon?"

Seven frowned.  "Captain?"

She moved aside and showed them the sensor logs.  "Ten days ago, someone modified the sensors to detect this malfunction."

"One of the Mallorians?" said Seven, stepping forward to examine the screen.

"Nobody seems to know anything about it."

B'Elanna's attention wandered and she gave an involuntary shiver as she had the feeling she was being watched.  She glanced around the room, but saw nothing suspicious until she noticed a figure up on the catwalk where she had been standing moments ago.  She knew instantly that was the person who was watching her.

They had a hood pulled close around their face, so it was impossible to tell who it was.  Something about them seemed familiar, though, and her eyes narrowed.

"B'Elanna?"

She turned around to the Captain and Seven.  By the look on the Captain's face, she guessed that it wasn't the first time she had tried to get her attention.

"B'Elanna, are you all right?"

She glanced up at the catwalk.  The figure was gone.  "Fine, Captain."

"What if we try reinforcing the containment field?" the Captain asked her.

"That could buy us some time," said B'Elanna.  "_If we manage to reinforce it before the reactor overloads."_

The Captain turned to one of the Mallorian engineers.  "Where are the controls for the containment field?"

"Up there," he said, pointing to the catwalk above the reactor.

She nodded.  "Keep working.  I'll try and boost the containment field."

She crossed the room and began climbing the ladder to the upper level.  She pulled herself up onto the catwalk and turned towards the controls for the containment field.  Before she got more than two steps, she was grabbed from behind and forcefully dragged to the shadows near a corridor in the wall.

"Get everybody out," whispered a voice in her ear.

She broke free of her captor's hold and turned around.  She couldn't see her attacker's face as it was concealed by shadows from a hood.  "Who are you?"

"There's going to be a chronoton surge in the reactor.  Get everyone out of here."

Her eyes narrowed.  "How do you know that?"

"That's not important," said the voice forcefully.

That voice…just for a second, it sounded familiar.  She quickly stepped forward and, reaching to the side, pulled the hood off the stranger.

"Tom?" she said incredulously, stepping back in shock.

It was Tom Paris…but it wasn't.  He looked older, and the humorous spark in his eyes was gone.  His face looked worn and sad, not at all the man she knew.

"What…how…what's going on?"

"Just as curious as always," said another familiar voice to the side.

She turned around to see a figure step out of the shadows.  Her eyes widened when she found herself staring at…herself.

"What the hell…" she whispered.  The woman in front of her looked exactly like her, except she was older, five or six years maybe.

Her double stared at her, unmoving.  "I'm afraid we don't have time to discuss the intricacies of temporal mechanics."

She stepped closer, glaring back at her older self.  "You'll make the time.  I want to know what the hell is going on here."

"I'm trying to make sure I was never here."

She held up a hand.  "Don't start.  Time travel gives me a headache."

The elder Janeway smirked.  "Tell me about it."

She sighed.  "Just give me the short version."

"Just over five years ago, my timeline, Voyager visited here and I led an away team to tour the Mallorian power facility.  While we were here, the reactor experienced an overload.  Tom and I were somehow thrown back five years to when the reactor was first brought online."  She appraised her younger counterpart.  "I intend to see that it doesn't happen again."


	3. Margin of Error

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER THREE: MARGIN OF ERROR

The elder Janeway examined the doubting look on her younger counterpart's face.  "I know, you don't believe me."

She merely raised an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid we don't have time for me to convince you, Captain.  You'll just have to take our word for it."

She looked back at Tom.  "Do you remember the first time we met, at the Federation Penal Colony in New Zealand?"  

He smirked, seeing through her ploy.  "Of course…except it wasn't the first time we met.  When I was twelve, the Al-Batani docked at Utopia Planitia for an overhaul and we met when my mother took me and my sisters to visit my father.  You were in his office when I showed up."

"We don't have time for this," snapped the elder Janeway.  "The reactor is going to go critical in a matter of minutes."

Her eyes widened as one piece of the puzzle fell into place.  "You enhanced the sensors."

"I thought if the Mallorians detected the overload they might be able to stop it before Voyager arrived."

"They detected it all right.  They sent out a distress signal."

"I know.  That wasn't the idea."  She turned to Tom.  "See if you can boost the containment field and buy us some time."

He nodded and started towards the catwalk, but she called him back.  "Not that one, you might be seen."  She jerked her head towards the shadowy corridors behind them.  "Use that panel we rigged up last week."

"Kathryn, why don't we just -- "

"Now, Tom," she said, an edge to her voice.

He nodded in submission and stepped past the Captain.  She watched him work over her shoulder before turning back to her double.  "Kathryn?"

"It seemed pointless to maintain the command structure after we were stranded here."  Her expression softened.  "We really don't have time to waste…but in the hope that we're going to be successful, Captain, can I give you a quick piece of advice?"

She raised an eyebrow.  "That depends on the advice."

Her counterpart thought for a moment.  "In a way, you're getting a second chance.  I've had plenty of time to think.  Plenty of time for regrets."  She looked over the Captain's shoulder at Tom as he worked.  "Get to know the crew.  I've become closer to Tom than I ever thought I could, and I'm glad for it."  She closed her eyes.  "After…after we realized that we weren't going to be rescued…we were both devastated.  Tom more so, I think.  Or maybe he just wasn't as good as hiding it as I was.  He lost his wife and everyone he cared about.  And his only chance of ever seeing them again…well, let's just say it would have been a little awkward at best.  He was never the same, but somehow he still managed to help me deal with…everything.  I think he would have left a long time ago if it weren't for me.  He couldn't stand it, just waiting here.  If I'd told him he could leave he might have, but I needed him here to pull this off."  She opened her eyes again and looked at the Captain.  "If this works, though, that will all be erased.  Get to know him, Captain, and the rest of the crew."

"I --"

"And don't tell me you know them already," she said, cutting her off.  The anger in her expression evaporated.  "If you knew what it was like to be without them, you'd remove some of those barriers you've spent so many years building."

"Kathryn?" said Tom quietly, approaching them.  "You'll have to come look at the containment field yourself.  There's some kind of phase variance."  

She nodded.  "I'll take care of it."  She started to move away, but stopped when she passed Tom.  "Bring her up to speed, would you?"

He nodded, and moved over to stand opposite the Captain.

"Just out of curiosity," he said, showing a glimmer of his former sense of humor, "Did you bring me this time?"

She shook her head with a small smile.  "No.  Just B'Elanna and a team of engineers."

The emotion on his face was obvious at the mention of her name.  "Yeah, I…I saw her.  From the catwalk."  He swallowed to try and get rid of the lump in his throat.  "She looks good."

She reached over and rested her hand on his arm.  "I'm sorry, Tom.  But we'll make sure this doesn't happen again.  I'm sure it must have been terrible for you."

He nodded, but then looked at her with sympathy.  "It was hard on you…I mean, on her, too.  She just wouldn't let it show."

"She didn't lose a wife," she said softly.

Tom shrugged.  "That doesn't mean she didn't…"  He stopped himself and cleared his throat.

She frowned.  "What?"

He raised his eyes from the floor and looked her in the eye.  "Just because she…you…have managed to hide it from everyone for so long doesn't mean it's not there."

"What are you talking about?"

"Chakotay," he said simply.

Her demeanor became icy.  "I beg your pardon?"

"You might be able to fool your Tom Paris…but in my timeline I've spent five years with you."  He sighed.  "When we were first stranded here, she was in denial.  We both were.  After a while, it started to sink in that we weren't going to be rescued.  One night, I woke up and I could hear her crying herself to sleep.  I didn't do anything at first…but eventually I confronted her.  We talked for hours.  She told me about…everything.  I had no idea the kind of baggage you've been carrying around all these years, Kath…Captain.  It killed her, being separated from Chakotay and the crew.  The only thing that got her through it was knowing that she had a chance to prevent it, to give you a second chance."

She shifted uncomfortably.  "She wanted you to bring me up to speed?"

"Unless she manages to get the containment field to hold, there's going to be a chronoton surge in the reactor that will cause a tachyon cascade.  You have to shut down the reactor or get everyone out before the cascade begins."

She nodded.  "Understood."  She stepped away and started back towards the catwalk, but turned back when Tom called after her.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

He smiled.  "Good luck."

She stared at him in silence, then moved towards the ladder and began climbing down to the main level.  As soon as she reached the ground floor, she walked quickly over to B'Elanna.

"We have to get everyone out of here."

"You didn't make any progress with the containment field?"

She shook her head.  "This reactor's going to go critical no matter what we do with it."

At that instant, alarms went off all over the room and smoke began pouring out of one of the nearby vents.

Taman burst into the room.   "What's going on?"

"I don't know, sir!" yelled one of the engineers on the second level.

"Well, find out!" he bellowed.

The Captain turned to Seven.  "Shut the core down!"

Taman stepped forward.  "No!"

Janeway blocked his path.  "We don't have a choice.  Seven," she ordered over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off Taman.  "Shut it down."

Seven entered a series of commands into the console in front of her, but it just beeped.  "It's not working!"

B'Elanna moved over to one of the nearby consoles.  "There's a massive chronoton surge building in one of the reactors!"

One of the alien engineers turned around and yelled at them as more alarms went off.  "The containment field is destabilizing!"

"We can stop it!" yelled Taman.

"It's too late," said the Captain firmly, still standing in front of him.

"I didn't keep this reactor running for five years to let it go now!"

"The radiation level will be critical in under three minutes," said Seven.

Taman stared down the smaller Captain for a few seconds before he reluctantly turned around.  "Everybody out!  Now!"

He started towards the door, but turned around.  "That means you, as well, Captain."

She nodded, taking one last reading from the sensor panel near the reactor.  "We're right behind you."

Working at a console on the other side of the room, Seven looked over her shoulder at the Captain.  "I'm detecting a tachyon cascade!"

B'Elanna sprinted over to a panel immediately in front of the reactor core.  "I'll try and --"

She was cut off when the room exploded in a flash of light.

*

Joe Carey stumbled against the wall when the explosion rocked the power facility.  He leaned over to help Ensign Ashmore to his feet.

"What the hell was that?" asked Tabor beside them.

"I hope it's not what I think it was," said Carey, immediately starting back towards the room that held the main reactor.

_Voyager to away team, please respond._

By the urgency in Commander Chakotay's voice, Carey guessed that something had gone wrong.  "Carey here."

_What's going on down there?  We detected some kind of subspace distortion._

"I wish I knew, sir.  We just felt one hell of a tremor down here."

_We can't contact the Captain, B'Elanna, or Seven._

"I'm on my way to the main reactor," said Carey as he rounded a corner.  His face clouded over when he saw the blown out doors of the main core and the smoke that was pouring out.  The threesome quickened their pace and sprinted through the doors.

Carey covered his mouth with his arm, coughing from the smoke.  He saw the chief engineer, Taman, sprawled on the floor.  He knelt down and felt for a pulse.  It was weak, but there.  Seven of Nine was near him, slumped against the wall.  He moved over and knelt in front of her, scanning her with a tricorder.  Some of her Borg implants appeared to have been damaged, but her vital signs were stable.

"Sir!"

Carey stood up and moved over to Ashmore and Tabor, who were helping another Mallorian engineer to sit up who had not been as close to the reactor.

Carey knelt in front of the man.  "Have you seen our Captain?"

The man nodded, coughing.  "Over…there," he wheezed, pointing.  "In front…"  His voice trailed off as his gaze followed his arm and he looked at the empty floor next to the reactor.  "I…I don't understand.  They were right there."

*

Chakotay paced back and forth impatiently on the bridge.  It seemed like an eternity since he had spoken to Lieutenant Carey.  Passing in front of the helm, he noticed Tom trying to stay concentrated on his station, and he reached over to pat him lightly on the shoulder.

"Any sign of them?" he asked Harry.

Harry shook his head. "The radiation's still too high.  Sensors can't penetrate it."

_Carey to Commander Chakotay._

He sighed with relief.  "Go ahead, Lieutenant.  Have you found them?"

_We've located Seven.  She's injured.  The Captain and Lieutenant Torres…they're gone._

He locked eyes with Tom.  "They're what?"__

*

Carey slowly walked around the debris surrounding the reactor core.  "One of the Mallorians says the Captain and Lieutenant Torres were standing right next to the reactor when the explosion happened, but there's no sign of them."

_Keep checking.  I'm on my way._

*    *    *

Chakotay followed Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Carey as they continued scanning the reactor core.

"I've got something," said Harry, standing near the panel where B'Elanna had been working.

Chakotay looked over Harry's shoulder.  "What is it?"

"It looks like a residual subspace fracture."

"Caused by the tachyon cascade?" he asked.

Carey stepped forward, taking his own scans.  "One of the engineers said there was a chronoton surge.  If the core breach was large enough, it could have penetrated subspace."

Chakotay frowned.  "So what happened to them?"

"I'm not sure," said Harry dejectedly.

"How do we get them back?"

The look on Harry's face told him the answer before the words came out of his mouth.  "We can't," he said softly.  "There's no way to determine where they are...if they're even alive."

*    *    *

The Captain could sense a bright light above her, but it felt like her brain was moving in slow motion and she had trouble thinking clearly.  When she tried to open her eyes, a burning pain shot across her face, pulling her out of her sluggish state.

"Try not to move," said a gentle female voice.

Despite the warning, she tried once more to open her eyes.  She was successful, but as soon as her eyes were open she became disoriented and dizzy.  She could hear alarms going off around her, and she slowly turned her head in the direction of the noise.  There were voices yelling urgently, but they sounded like distorted echoes to her ears and she couldn't make out what they were saying.

She was trying to figure out what was going on…but she was so tired.  She just wanted to go back to sleep.  When she tried to move her head again, the burning pain on her face returned and she gasped.

The pain served to keep her alert, and she tried to focus on the source of the noise beside her.  She squinted, and could make out a group of people moving around a still form on a bed.  The alarms she was hearing appeared to be coming from instruments that were attached to the person in the bed.  As she watched, the alarms changed from a fluctuating frequency to a steady tone.

She could feel her concentration starting to slip away, and she fought to stay grounded.  In the few seconds she was able to retain her focus, she recognized the motionless form on the bed.

It was B'Elanna.


	4. Redemption

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER FOUR: REDEMPTION

_Captain's Log, Stardate 54435.7  We've received a distress call from a nearby planet and have altered course.  We have yet to establish visual or audio contact, but we should be within range shortly._

Captain Janeway left her ready room and strode onto the bridge.  "Report."

"We've got a visual on that automated distress call, Captain."

"Let's see it, Mr. Kim." she ordered, standing in the middle of the bridge with her hands on her hips.

"Mallor Prime to any vessel within range," said an alien urgently.  "We are in critical need of assistance.  Our tachyon reactor is in danger of an overload.  It is the only source of power for our planet.  Please, help us."

The signal ended abruptly.

"Lieutenant," ordered Janeway as she took her seat.  "Take us up to warp 9."

*

"We're in range," announced Harry.

"Open a channel," she ordered.

"Channel open."

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.  We're responding to your distress call."

"They're responding."

"This is the first Prelate's office," said a Mallorian.  "If you'll wait one moment I'll transfer you to the main energy complex."

After a few seconds, Taman appeared on the screen.   He regarded Janeway suspiciously for several seconds before he answered.  "I am chief engineer Taman."

"You said you were having a problem with your tachyon reactor," said the Captain.  "Can we be of assistance?"

"We haven't been able to do anything other than control some of the radiation, I'm afraid.  The reactor could go critical at any moment."

"Can you shut it down?" asked Chakotay.

"That would have an extremely detrimental effect on our society.  Our people are completely dependent on this reactor.  We used sources of energy that polluted our planet until we converted all our power systems to this new tachyon reactor.  Everything on our planet is powered by this facility."

"I didn't even think constructing a tachyon reactor was feasible," said Ensign Kim.

"Tachyon reactors have been considered in theory by many races," said Seven.  "Just because the Federation has made little progress does not mean it is impossible."

"I'll beam down with some of my engineers to assist you," said Janeway.

"Thank you, Captain."

The transmission ended, and Janeway rose from her chair and hit her commbadge.  "Janeway to Torres."

_Go ahead, Captain._

"Assemble a team and meet me in transporter room two."

_Yes, ma'am._

She turned to Chakotay.  "Commander, the bridge is yours."

"Aye, Captain."

"Seven, you're with me," she said as she headed for the turbolift.

*

The group of officers materialized in the atrium of the main power facility and were immediately approached by Taman, the chief engineer.

"Thank you again for your assistance, Captain.  This is Afren, one of my engineers.  Perhaps he could show your team to the main reactor core?"

"I'd like to get a look at the specifications, too," said B'Elanna.

"Certainly," nodded Taman.

B'Elanna and her team followed the Mallorian while Janeway stayed behind with Taman.

"I'm curious," said the Captain.  "How long have you been using a tachyon reactor?"

"Just over five years,"  he said, looking over her shoulder.  "Forgive me, Captain -- there's something that requires my attention."

She nodded, and he stepped around her, grabbing one of the passing engineers roughly by the shoulder.

"Morat," he hissed, glancing over his shoulder at the Captain to make sure her attention was elsewhere.  "I thought our scientists determined what that woman said was impossible."

"Th-they, did," stammered the Mallorian, quivering under his superior's icy glare.  "They…uh…concluded that it was extremely improbable that a reactor overload could cause any kind of temporal disturbance."

"Am I seeing things, Morat?"

"N-n-no, sir.  I see her too."

Taman grunted and released his subordinate.  "Get me the head of tachyon research.  He's going to want to see this for himself.  And tell him to track down the woman, too."

Morat nodded and started to move off, but Taman grabbed him by the arm again.  "And in the name of K'tar make sure everyone knows to keep her away from the reactor without raising her suspicions.  For all we know she was the one responsible for the overload in the first place."

"Yes, sir," mumbled Morat, and he scurried off before Taman had another chance to speak.

"Humph," grunted Taman.  He took a deep breath to calm down before turning back to the Captain.  "I apologize, Captain…" he began, but frowned.  He looked around the atrium, but there was no sign of her.

*

The Captain struggled against the arm around her shoulders as she was dragged backwards along the empty corridor, her attempt to yell for help hindered by the hand over her mouth.  She heard a door slide open behind her, and she was pulled backwards through it.  The door cut off the light from the hallway as it slid shut in front of her, leaving her and her assailant in almost complete darkness.  

She attempted to reach her commbadge.  A wrist grabbed her hand, stopping it just before she managed to hit the commbadge.

"You're not going anywhere until we've had a little chat, Captain," hissed a voice in her ear.  

A familiar voice.

She stopped struggling, and her abductor stopped walking as well.  The hand over her mouth was released, and she immediately whirled around to face the hooded figure that had grabbed her near the edge of the atrium.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"Just to talk, Captain.  I'm not going to hurt you."

That voice…it sounded so familiar…

Her captor reached up and slowly pushed back the hood.  It took a few seconds for her to make out the features in the shadows, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness they widened in shock.

"What the hell…"  she said, taking a step backwards.  It was her, but…not her.  The woman standing before her looked identical except for the fact that she was several years older and had a large disfiguring scar on her right cheek.  It had an unusual shape, almost like a hand print.

"This?" said her double, noticing her scrutiny and turning her head to give her a better view of the scar.  "It's from a radiation burn.  This is what I'm here to prevent."

Janeway's eyes narrowed.  "What are you talking about?"

"We're trapped in some kind of temporal loop.  Five years ago, my timeline, Voyager received a distress call from the Mallorians.  We tried to stop their reactor from overloading.  We didn't.  The chronoton surge opened a fracture in subspace, and I was pulled through.  When I woke up, it was five years earlier.  And I had this," she added, pointing to her cheek.  "It appears I was closer to the reactor than my predecessor."

"Your predecessor?"

"The Kathryn Janeway that was caught in the loop before me."

She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers.  "I hate temporal paradoxes," she muttered.

"She was also thrown back in time, and tried to warn me after spending five years stranded here," continued the elder Janeway, undaunted.  "Now I'm trying to warn you."

"Now that you have, we should be able to stop it."

Her counterpart smiled sadly.  "That's what I thought, and look where it got me."

"I'm sure if B'Elanna and her team know…"

"I didn't spend five years waiting for this to make the same mistake twice," snapped her double.  "Don't you think I tried to prevent the overload?  It didn't work.  After I woke up here, I tried to convince the Mallorians that I was telling the truth, but they wouldn't believe me.  I enhanced their sensors so they would catch the malfunction, something my predecessor came up with, but they couldn't fix it in time.  You won't be able to either, but at least this won't happen again."

She crossed her arms.  "I'm listening."

Her elder companion smiled slightly.  "Good.  If you flood the reactor with anti-chronotons, the surge will be prevented.  It's a simple enough solution…although Taman may take a little convincing."

"Oh?"

"Flooding the reactor with anti-chronotons will stop the overload, but it will also shut down the core.  Permanently."

"Their planet would be entirely without power," objected the Captain.  "There has to be another option."

"I've had five years to consider all the options," she snapped back.  "This is the only way.  It may inconvenience the Mallorians, but it's better than the alternative."

"Maybe if we --"

The elder Janeway stepped forward, eyes blazing.  "Are you prepared to leave Voyager without a Captain for the Mallorians' convenience?"

When she returned the her stare with cold determination, her double took another step closer and lowered her voice.

"Are you prepared to let B'Elanna die?"

She looked at her incredulously.  "What?"

"She was standing near me when the chronoton surge occurred, but she was closer to the reactor.  She…"  Her voice faltered, and the emotion showed on her face.  She blinked and looked up at the ceiling to try and conceal the tears that were filling her eyes.  "The radiation levels were too high.  Her tissue damage was severe.   There was nothing the Mallorians could do."  

The Captain watched her companion with quiet sympathy.

"Tom…he had been thrown back in the previous loop.  He was so devastated…he wanted me to stop it from happening so he and B'Elanna wouldn't be separated...and I got her killed."  

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

Her double closed her eyes.  "She's pregnant," she said softly.  "Did you know that?"

Her eyes widened. "B'Elanna?"

"The Mallorians told me after they performed the…the autopsy.  They said she was six or seven weeks along.  It was a girl."

She stared at her elder self with compassion.  "I'm sorry."

"Don't let it happen again," she said emotionally.

"It won't.  I promise you."

*

"Have you seen the Captain?"

B'Elanna turned around in surprise.  "Chakotay.  What are you doing here?"

He frowned in concern.  "Lieutenant Mulcahey said he thought he saw somebody grab the Captain in the atrium, and she's not answering hails.  Have you seen her?"

"No," said B'Elanna, her expression of concern matching Chakotay's.  "I haven't.  Have you tried scanning for her?"

"The radiation level's too high.  Sensors can't penetrate it."  His frown deepened.  "I have a bad feeling about this."

"There she is," said B'Elanna, looking over his shoulder. She leaned over the railing of the catwalk as the Captain entered the main reactor core.  "Captain!" she called.

Janeway stopped and looked up.  "Any progress?"

B'Elanna walked over to the railing and began climbing down, followed by Chakotay.  "I'm afraid not.  We know that the problem isn't in the power flow regulators or the power matrix."  She stepped off the ladder and turned around to face the Captain.  "The radiation levels are rising, and Seven thinks there could be a tachyon cascade at any moment."  She paused and frowned, noticing the odd expression on her Captain's face.  "Is everything all right, Captain?"

"Everything's fine."  She turned to Chakotay.  "I seem to recall leaving you the bridge."

He frowned.  "Lieutenant Mulcahey said he thought he saw somebody attack you in the atrium."

She waved her hand dismissively.  "It was just a misunderstanding."  

"You weren't answering to hails."

"The radiation must be interfering with communications."  She turned back to B'Elanna.  "You've had a look at their systems.  What do you recommend?"

B'Elanna sighed and put her hands on her hips.  "I'm not one to give up easily, Captain, but I don't see that there's anything we can do.  We could try boosting the containment field, but that would only buy us an hour.  Two at most.  And we may not be able to boost the field before the reactor goes critical."

"What if we bombarded the reactor with anti-chronotons?"

"Anti-chronotons?"

"Would it work?"

"It would probably stop the overload…but I doubt the Mallorians would ever get the reactor started again."

She nodded.  "See if you can boost the containment field to buy us some time.  I'll --"

She was interrupted as alarms went off around the room and one of the vents near the core began spouting smoke.

"What's going on?" yelled Taman, bursting into the room.

"I'm not sure, sir!"

"Well, find out!"

Janeway turned to B'Elanna.  "Get your people out of here, now!"

B'Elanna turned around.  "Everybody, let's move!  Now!  Now!"

The Voyager engineers ran past her and out the door as smoke continued to fill the room.  The Captain moved towards the reactor, looking at the readouts.  "I'll try and shut the core down."

B'Elanna moved to work at the console beside her.  "Looks like the safety protocols are offline.  There's some kind of chronoton surge building in the reactors.  We can try and --"

The Captain stepped in between her and the console.  "B'Elanna, I want you out of here."

She frowned.  "With all due respect, Captain, I'm the best chance you've got at --"

"That's an order, Lieutenant.  Go."

Reluctantly, B'Elanna turned and followed the rest of her team out the doors.  The Captain watched her go for a few seconds, then noticed Chakotay approaching her.  "I want everybody out.  That includes you."

He stepped closer to her.  "I'm not leaving, Kathryn."

"Get out of here," she said, strain slipping into her voice.  "That's an order, Commander."

"Throw me in the brig for insubordination if you want.  I'm not going anywhere."

She stared him down for a few seconds as the alarms sounded before she finally nodded.  "See if you can keep the containment field stable while I shut down the core."

He moved over to one of the consoles on the far side of the room.  "The containment field's at 74 percent and falling."

"What's going on?" yelled Taman, moving towards the Captain.

"There's a chronoton surge in the reactor," she told him.

He looked over her shoulder.  "What are you doing?"

"I don't have time to explain," she said, her fingers flying over the console in front of her.

He stepped around her, looking over her other shoulder.   His eyes widened in anger and he grabbed her roughly by the arm, spinning her around to face him.  "You're flooding the reactor with anti-chronotons!"

She glared at him.  "It's the only way to prevent the overload!"

"No!" he yelled, hitting the console with his fist.

"We don't have a choice, Taman!"

"NO!"  He still had a firm grip on her arm, and he turned around and threw her across the room.  She hit the wall hard, striking the back of her head, and she slumped to the floor disoriented.

Chakotay ran towards Taman.  "Get away from there!" he yelled.  "We're trying to help!"

Taman swung a punch at him, which he ducked.

"We're trying to help you," he repeated, trying to reason with the engineer.

"No!" yelled Taman, taking another swing at him.  Chakotay retaliated, punching Taman in the jaw.  He stumbled backwards, then ran at Chakotay again.

Captain Janeway slowly pushed herself off the floor, shaking her head to clear her vision.  She could see Chakotay and Taman scuffling near the other side of the room.  She used the console to pull herself into a standing position, then moved towards the reactor to examine the panel she had been working at.

Her eyes widened when she saw the readouts.  She pushed away from the console and started towards the other side of the room.  "Chakotay!" she yelled.  "There's a tachyon cascade!  We have to get out of --"

Before she reached him, the reactor exploded in a bright flash of light.

*

Coughing from the smoke, Chakotay rolled over on the floor with a groan.  He slowly pried his eyelids open, but he couldn't see anything in the haze.  He could hear Taman regaining consciousness beside him.

He gingerly pushed himself into a sitting position, wondering what had happened.

He remembered the Captain yelling at him…something about…a tachyon cascade.

"Captain?"  he said, looking around.  There was debris scattered around the floor, but there was no sign of her.  There were definite signs of an explosion -- the reactor must have overloaded.  He frowned in concern.

He slowly climbed to his feet, and moved around the reactor to the panel where she had been working.  When he saw nothing, he quickened his pace around the reactor, trying to ignore the knot in the pit of his stomach.  "Kathryn!"

His steps slowed when he completed his circuit of the reactor.

Except for himself and Taman, the room was empty.


	5. Alter Ego

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER FIVE: ALTER EGO

_Captain's log, Stardate 54435.7  We've detected an automated distress signal from a nearby inhabited M-class planet.  We've been unable to establish visual or audio contact but we've altered course to investigate._

"We're coming in range," reported Tom at the helm.

Captain Janeway turned around in her chair to face ops.  "Mr. Kim?"

"We've got visual contact," said Harry.  "They're still transmitting the automated distress call."

"Onscreen," she ordered, facing the front of the bridge again.

A dark-skinned alien appeared on the screen.  "Mallor Prime to any vessel within range," he said.  "There is an imminent overload in our tachyon reactor.  We are completely depended on its energy.  We are in urgent need of assistance."

The screen went blank as the signal ended.

"Tom, increase speed to warp 9," said the Captain, crossing her legs.

*

"We're within communications range, Captain," said Harry.  "The distress call seems to be coming from some kind of power facility on the northern continent."

"Hail them," said the Captain as she rose from her chair, straightening her uniform with a tug.

"They're responding."

A Mallorian engineer appeared on the screen.  They could hear faint alarms in the background.  "This is the main energy complex.  Please identify yourself."

"I'm Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.  We detected your distress call.  Can we be of assistance?"

"Our engineers have been able to control the radiation, but they're still trying to avert the overload in the tachyon core.  I'm sure they could use any help they can get."

"Why don't they just shut down the reactor?" asked Tom, glancing over his shoulder at the Captain.

"That is being considered only as a last resort.  Our entire planet is dependent on the energy from this reactor.  Shutting it down would render our population helpless."

"I didn't even know tachyon reactors were possible," said Harry.  "I mean, I've seen theories, but --"

"Just because the Federation has not been able to put that theory into practice does not mean that other races could not," said Seven.

"We'll send an away team down to assist your engineers," said the Captain.

"Thank you.  We appreciate it."

She hit her commbadge as the screen went blank.  "Janeway to Torres."

_Torres here, Captain._

"I want you to assemble a team and meet me in transporter room two."

_Acknowledged._

She started up the stairs to the turbolift.  "Seven, you're with me.  Chakotay, you have the bridge."

*

"Try rerouting power through the backup power systems," said Taman.  "See if that stops the overload."

"Yes, sir."

"What is it?" he snapped impatiently as he was tapped on the shoulder for a second time.

Morat leaned forward and spoke quietly in his ear.  Taman bolted upright and turned around, staring Morat in the eye.  "You're certain it was the same woman?"

He nodded.  "Y-yes, sir.  I spoke with her myself.  Everything was exactly as she said it would be.  They will be arriving shortly."

Taman frowned.  "Send a message to the head of tachyon research."  He snorted.  "I always thought that windbag was full of it when he said there was no possibility of temporal phenomena.  That woman was convincing to say the least, yet he refused to believe a word of it."

Morat nodded and started to move off, but Taman grabbed him by the shoulder.  "When she gets here, keep her busy in the atrium until I arrive.  Use whatever excuse you need."

*

They were met by a pair of Mallorian engineers in the atrium.

"Welcome, Captain," said one as they approached the away team.  "My name is Morat, and this is Shoval.  We can show your engineers to any part of the facility you wish to examine."

"I'll need to get a look at the schematics first," said B'Elanna.

"Of course," said Morat, motioning over his shoulder.  His companion stepped forward with a PADD and handed it to her.

She quickly scanned the PADD.  "Vorik, you and Ashmore go take a look at these power flow regulators.  The rest of us will examine the main core."

"I can take you to the flow regulators," said Shoval, and Vorik and Ashmore followed him.

"The main reactor core is down that corridor on the left," said Morat, motioning with his arm.  B'Elanna nodded and motioned to her engineers to follow her.

The Captain stepped forward to go with B'Elanna but Morat smiled and moved into her path.  "Our chief engineer was hoping to speak with you, Captain, if you'll just wait here.  He should be with you shortly."

"Of course."

Morat nodded, then led B'Elanna and her team down the corridor towards the main reactor.

*

She could see her from her position deep in the shadows.  Pacing back and forth in that familiar fashion, placing her hands on her hips -- a habit that over the years she could never seem to shake -- and despite everything that was racing through her mind an unconscious smile pulled at the corners of her lips.  She could make out the familiar facial expressions even from across the room.  So full of determination, so full of confidence.  No idea of what she was walking into.  The kind of pain she would go through.

_And you won't go through it, she thought to herself.  She checked the setting on the Mallorian disruptor in her belt one last time and gripped the handle of thehypospray as she saw her chance.  __Not if I haveanything to say about it._

*

Taman stormed into the main reactor core, looking around furiously.

"Morat!" he yelled when he saw the engineer up on the second floor, working at a console with B'Elanna and Ensign Tabor.  Morat turned around and immediately started for the ladder when he saw the expression on Taman's face.

"Yes, sir?" he said when he neared him.

Taman reached over and grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him closer.  "I thought I told you to keep an eye on her," he hissed quietly.

"I-I told her to wait for you in the atrium, sir," stammered Morat.

"She's not there."

"I don't know what to tell you, sir.  She was there the last time I saw her."

He leaned forward so his face was inches from Morat's.  "Find her.  Now."

*

"Ensign!  Have you seen the Captain?" asked B'Elanna as she climbed down the ladder to the main floor.

Tabor stood up, closing the tool case he had been using.  "No, not since the beam-in."

She frowned, looking around the room until her eyes fell on one of the Mallorian engineers.  "Morat!" she yelled, moving over to join him near the console where he was working.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" he said, turning around.

"Is our Captain still with your chief engineer?"

Some of the color drained from his face and he glanced around to room to hide his discomfort.  "I'm…not sure."

"Huh.  I would have expected her to be giving us a hand in here," she said, her eyes roaming around the room.  She hit her commbadge.  "Torres to Janeway."

*

The voice slowly penetrated the Captain's consciousness, but it took a few seconds for her sluggish thoughts to piece together what was going on.  The last thing she remembered was…waiting for the chief engineer in the atrium.  Her thoughts became sharper as she suddenly remembered being grabbed from behind and the tingling sensation of a hypospray against her neck.

As the sedative in her system began to wear off, she became aware that she was being dragged backwards through what seemed to be some kind of underground cavern.

_Torres to Captain Janeway, please respond_

The Captain tried frantically to reach her commbadge, but her reflexes were still slow and her abductor ripped the commbadge off her uniform and threw it before her fingers reached it.  She heard it clatter to the ground a few meters away.

She struggled against her captor as her strength returned in a sudden rush of adrenaline, trying to dig her heels in and stop their progress.  She managed to elbow her attacker in the ribs, eliciting a soft grunt.

"Don't make this hard on yourself, Captain," muttered a voice softly.

Ignoring her warning, she continued to struggle.  She dug her heel into her captor's shin, causing their step to falter.  Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, she ducked and used the arm that was around her neck to throw her abductor over her head and onto the ground.  She moved forward, kneeling down to try and pin her opponent.  The hooded figure rolled over and avoided her, climbing to their feet.

The Captain started to lunge forward again, but froze when her abductor pulled out some kind of weapon and pointed it at her.

"I don't want to use this, Captain.  But I will if I have to."

Her eyes widened at the familiar voice.  "What the hell…"

Her abductor reached up and removed her hood, shaking her long chestnut hair loose.  Except for the disfiguring scar on one side of her face and the longer hair, she could have been looking in a mirror. 

On further consideration, though, she revised that opinion.  The woman in front of her looked older, at least five years or so.  The eyes too, were different.  They still had the fire and determination that she recognized in herself, but there was something missing or altered.  The eyes that were staring back at her looked like they had seen so much more despair and sorrow than she had experienced, even in their turbulent six years in the Delta quadrant.

"Care to explain?" she asked finally.

One side of her counterpart's mouth rose in a lopsided smile.  "We've got plenty of time."

She frowned.  "In case you hadn't noticed, there's a tachyon reactor above us that's going to overload any minute."

"Believe me, I noticed."

*

Chakotay moved up the stairs towards Harry's station.  "What do you mean, nothing?"

Harry shook his head.  "I'm not detecting the Captain anywhere.  But the level of tachyon radiation is increasing.  It could be interfering with sensors."

He frowned.  "We're not reading her on sensors, B'Elanna."

The concern in B'Elanna's voice was obvious.  _Nobody down here has seen her for at least half an hour, and the Mallorians are giving me the run around._

"Do you think they're hiding something?"

_I don't know, Chakotay…but we've got our hands full trying to stop this reactor overload.  We reinforced the containment field.  That should buy us an hour or two._

He moved past Harry's station, heading for the turbolift.  "I'm on my way."

*

"I need to get to the reactor core and help B'Elanna."

"I already told you.  We're staying here."

"I don't have time for this."  

She started to move past her, but the elder Janeway raised the weapon and pointed it at her.  "You're not going anywhere."

Without moving, she stared at the weapon.

Her counterpart jerked the weapon towards the wall.  "Sit down."

When she refused to move, her double's eyes narrowed and she stepped towards her menacingly.  "I said sit down, Captain.  I don't want to use this, but I will if it means stopping this from happening again."

She examined the face of her counterpart as she reluctantly complied, taking a seat on the rough ground.  "What exactly are you trying to prevent?  Some kind of disaster?"

Her voice dropped to a whisper and she could see her elder self's emotional control slip slightly.  "You could say that."

"What happened?"

Her double took a seat on the ground opposite her, the weapon still firmly in hand.  "We're trapped in some kind of repeating causality loop.  I encountered an older version of myself, who warned me that the reactor core was going to go critical.  When the core overloaded, there was a chronoton surge that created a fracture in subspace.  I was pulled in and woke up five years in the past, just like the Kathryn Janeway before me.  And the one before her.  There's no telling how many times this has already happened."

"I don't understand -- if you knew the core was going to overload why couldn't you stop it?"

"I would have, but Taman saw what I was doing and attacked me.  I didn't get a chance to shut down the reactor."

She frowned.  "Where were B'Elanna and her team?"

"I ordered them out."

"When they could have helped you?" she said incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that, Captain.  We both know you would have done exactly the same in my position."

"Not if it would have prevented the reactor overload."

"What if it saved B'Elanna's life?"

Her eyes narrowed.  "What?"

"In the previous loop, B'Elanna tried to assist…us…in shutting down the core.  When the chronoton surge happened, she was right next to the reactor.  When the Mallorians found us…it was too late.  She died from the radiation damage."

"How do you know all this if you have no memory of the previous loops?"

"She told me what happened.  I made sure that B'Elanna was nowhere near the core when it blew."

The Captain absorbed this information in silence.

Her double smiled wryly.  "I know this will be breaking the Temporal Prime Directive if I tell you this, but she's pregnant."

"B'Elanna?"

"About five or six weeks along.  A girl.  The Kathryn from the previous loop told me.  She found out when the Mallorians did an autopsy on B'Elanna.  I ordered her out of the reactor to protect her.  Unfortunately, I was so absorbed with getting everyone else to safety that I didn't think to get out of there myself."

*

Chakotay followed Taman as he moved around the engine room.  "Did you speak with the Captain?"

"No, I did not," said the Mallorian, examining a PADD one of his engineers handed him.  "I went to the atrium to meet with her, but she was not there."

Chakotay stepped aside as Taman moved past him.  "Did you ask anyone if they had seen her?"

Taman turned around, frustrated.  "Commander, I'm afraid I have more important things to worry about than the whereabouts of your Captain.  I'm sure there is no reason for concern."

"No reason for concern?" he repeated incredulously.  "Nobody has seen her since she arrived."

Taman continued working at his console.  "She has most likely joined one of my engineering teams in an effort to assist them."

"Can you contact these engineering teams?"

"They are busy."

Chakotay stared at him for a long time before he stepped away and crossed the room, finding a quiet corner.  "Chakotay to Voyager."

_Go ahead, Commander, responded Tuvok._

"I haven't been able to locate the Captain.  Have one of your security teams beam down to assist me, and tell Harry to keep scanning for her."

_Acknowledged._

He stood in silence for a moment, hoping that the knot in the pit of his stomach would disappear.  He could feel the muscles in his chest tighten, and it felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest.  Something was wrong.  Kathryn was in trouble.  He could feel it in his bones.

*

"Where are we?" 

"Old mining tunnels from before the reactor was built.  It took me months to find the entrance near the atrium."

"You've been planning this for a while."

"Since the day I woke up in the reactor core…over five years ago."

Her eyes narrowed.  "How do I know this isn't some kind of elaborate trick?"

Her companion took a seat facing her, the gun still firmly in hand.  "To what end?"

"I don't know."

Her double thought for a moment.  "When you were seven years old, you broke your arm in a game of Parisses squares even though your father had repeatedly forbidden you to play.  You walked all the way home from the game with that broken arm, and the Admiral found out what you had been doing.  He managed to act angry until you told him your team had won."

She looked at her counterpart suspiciously.

"In your second year at the Academy, you were offered a chance to cheat on your quantum mechanics final.  You refused and made the second highest grade in the class.  Or should I say the highest, considering Cadet Raega was exposed a few days after the exam and expelled."

The suspicious look on the Captain's face remained, but it was less determined than before.

"Still don't believe me?"  asked her double with a smirk.  "I can keep this up all day."

"Are you sure we're the same person?" asked the Captain wryly.  "I don't picture myself pulling a phaser on…myself."

"We're not the same person, Captain.  Not anymore."

"I noticed you grew your hair out," she said sarcastically.  "And…"

"This?" she said, touching the scar on her cheek.  "It seems I was standing a little too close to the reactor when it blew.  The Mallorians don't have the same level of medical technology that Voyager does.  They weren't able to completely heal the burn.  But our differences go far beyond the superficial."

The Captain's eyes fell to the weapon that was still trained on her.  "Obviously."

"You're still a Captain.  You have your crew.  You have Chakotay."  She held her hand up when she saw the reaction in her younger counterpart.  "Don't start with me.  I don't want to hear it."

She clamped her mouth shut, swallowing the objection that she had been about to voice.

"I know you're going to tell me he's your First Officer, nothing more, but I know as well as you do the kind of comfort that gives you."  She sighed.  "When I first woke up here, I didn't want to accept that I was stranded.  I spent every spare minute trying to figure out exactly what had happened.  When I did, I tried to convince the Mallorians that I was telling the truth.  They wouldn't believe me."  She snorted.  "I even tried sabotaging the reactor once, but it didn't work and they increased the security.  So I realized that there was nothing to do but wait.  And that's when it started to get to me."

"When what started to get to you?"

"The loneliness."  She looked sadly at her younger self.  "I know you think you're lonely now, Captain, distancing yourself from the crew.  Having to be Captain…but you have no idea what it was like.  I'll go to any lengths to prevent this from happening again."

"How do you know it won't happen again?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I'm not there to order B'Elanna out of the core, she might stay and try to stop the overload.  She could be there when it blows."

"She won't be.  Trust me."

Her eyes narrowed.  "How can you be so sure?"

*

"Are you sure she's not assisting one of our engineering teams?" asked Shoval.

"Nobody has seen her," said Chakotay forcefully.  "We've searched the entire facility."

"Perhaps you are not familiar enough with our facility.  There may be areas that you missed."

"None of your people would help us."

Shoval frowned.  "In case you haven't noticed, Commander, we're in the middle of a crisis."

"I understand that.  If you would just cooperate with us, we would be able to find her."

Shoval sighed.  "What do you want to know?"

"Chakotay!"  He looked up from the Mallorian to see B'Elanna standing at the entrance to the main reactor core.  "You'd better come take a look at this."

Shoval followed him as he moved with B'Elanna into the core.  She knelt next to one of the power matrices.  "We found this when we were analyzing the power flow."

He knelt next to her and examined the small blinking device that was attached to one of the power conduits.  It was small, about three centimeters square, and was partially hidden behind some of the other conduits.

"What is it?"

"It's a bomb."

Shoval and Chakotay both looked at her in surprise.  "What?" he said.

"It's designed to overload the power matrix."

"We inspected this facility two weeks ago," sputtered Shoval.  "I'm certain that wasn't there."

"Did it cause the reactor overload?" asked Chakotay.

"No, but when it detonated the radiation level in the core would have gone critical.  We would have been forced to evacuate."

"You disarmed it?"

She nodded.  "The fact that it's there isn't even the most surprising thing."  She pointed to a small component of the haphazardly assembled device.  "See this?"

He leaned forward.  "Yes."

"It's got a Starfleet signature.  It looks like it came from a commbadge."

"What?  How is that possible?"

*

"You sabotaged the reactor?" said Captain Janeway incredulously.

"It was the only way to prevent this."

She stared at her double in disbelief.  "I can't believe I would ever do something like that."

"It's not serious.  Everyone will merely be forced to evacuate long before the reactor overloads."

"And no one will be there to try and stop the overload.  The Mallorians will be completely helpless without the energy from that reactor."

"They'll manage."

"Have you forgotten everything Starfleet stands for?"

The elder Janeway didn't answer immediately and tilted her head back against the rock.  "Of course not…but being separated from the crew has changed my perspective."  She took a deep breath.  "Imagine waking up every morning for five years and not knowing where they were.  If they were safe.  If they finally managed to get home.  If they thought about me."  She smiled sadly and her throat tightened.  "You know…I always used to think that I was the one who depended on Chakotay and not the other way around…but so often I found myself wondering if he would be able to go on without me."

She watched the emotions on her elder counterpart's face with interest.  "Chakotay's more than capable of commanding Voyager."  

She looked back at her, lowering her head from the wall behind her.  "You know that's not what I mean.  I have full confidence in his abilities.  It's him I worried about."

They sat in silence for a few moments before the elder Janeway spoke up again.  "One night," she said quietly, smiling sadly, "I dreamt that I was back on Voyager, with him."  She laughed when she saw her companion's reaction.  "Don't look so surprised, Captain.  I used to be you, remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"I remember how I kept my feelings hidden for so many years."  She smiled.  "And I seem to recall some rather vivid dreams I had long before I ended up here."  Captain Janeway raised an eyebrow. 

Her double smiled wistfully.  "I could feel his arms around me, his breath on the back of my neck.  It was so peaceful, so comforting.  And then I woke up, and he was gone.  And that's when it hit me."  Her voice wavered and dropped to a whisper.  "I was alone."  She looked at her younger double, determination showing through the tears in her eyes.  "And that's when I decided that I wasn't going to let this happen.  Not again."

"I thought we made a point of avoiding time travel."

"_We used to.  __You weren't stranded here by yourself for five years.  Not knowing what had happened, not knowing if they made it home…it was a living Hell for me.  For all I know, the entire planet was obliterated when that reactor blew, and Voyager along with it."_

"For all you know, planting that device will have devastating consequences."

*

Taman turned the device over in his hand and glanced over Shoval's shoulder to make sure the humans were not within hearing range.  "You're sure?"

Shoval nodded.  "Their engineer said it was their technology."

"Hm," grumbled Taman.  "I thought we took enough precautions to prevent her breaching our security a second time.  Whatever her motives may be, it's clear she's trying to destroy the reactor."  He looked thoughtfully at the device and tossed it in his hand.  "Help their Commander to find her.  Bring a security team with you.  Stop her at all costs."


	6. Consequences

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER SIX: CONSEQUENCES

"According to my scans," said Harry, pointing on the monitor, "The tunnels extend for a radius of two kilometers below this facility."

Chakotay looked up and glared at Shoval.  "Why didn't you mention these tunnels?"

Shoval shrugged.  "They're abandoned and unstable.  To my knowledge, no one has been down there for years."

He turned to Harry.  "Have you tried scanning for her?"

"The radiation levels are too high.  The best we'll have is limited tricorder scans."

Tom snorted.  "It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.  This could take forever."

"We've got things under control for now," said B'Elanna.  "I can guarantee you twenty minutes.  No more."

"You've got to be kidding," said Tom.

She crossed her arms.  "I'm not.  This thing is going to overload and there's nothing I can do to stop it.  The only reason it didn't go critical an hour ago is that we managed to reinforce the containment field."

"Tom," said Chakotay, pointing at the diagram, "You take a team and check out these tunnels.  I'll cover these ones."

"Twenty minutes," repeated B'Elanna.

"You expect us to just leave if we haven't found her?" said Tom.

"We don't know for sure that she's even down there," Harry reminded him.

"Let's go," said Chakotay.

"Taman would like one of our security teams to accompany you," said Shoval.

"That won't be necessary."

Shoval's eyes narrowed.  "We insist."

*

"Something wrong?" asked the Captain as her double looked around the cave warily.

She looked back at her.  "The device I planted should have gone off by now."

"How do you know it hasn't?"

"We should have been able to hear the alarms.  There's a ventilation shaft near here."

"Maybe your device didn't work."

"I spent months building it.  It will work."

"Maybe you underestimated B'Elanna."

Her counterpart stopped pacing and turned around.  "What do you mean?"

She crossed her arms.  "Temporal mechanics 101.  You introduced a new variable into a causality loop.  There's no telling how that will change things.  Maybe B'Elanna found your device and disarmed it."

Her face clouded over.  "If that's true…"

"If that's true, then you should let me out of here so I can go shut down the core."

"You mean evacuate it."

"You said your anti-chronoton idea would work.  All I have to do is avoid Taman."

The elder Janeway stared at her for several seconds before she moved towards her, squatting in front of her so their faces were level.  "You still don't get it, do you?"  She sighed.  "You don't understand what it was like, Captain.  Being alone for _five years.  I'm not going to take the risk that this will happen again."_

"What if holding me here causes more deaths?"  She stood up and turned her back on her without answering.  "Have you considered that the crew might be looking for me?"

The elder Janeway eyed her guardedly over her shoulder.  "It's a risk I had to take.  But if they're looking for you that means they're nowhere near the reactor."

"It seems you've thought of everything."

"Five years is a long time to plan something," she said quietly.  "And it kept my mind off…everything else."

"I can imagine."

"No," she snapped, "You can't.  I don't think you have any idea what it was like."  She thought for a moment.  "Remember when Voyager traveled through the Void?"

"Of course," she said tersely.

"Remember when we first encountered the Borg…your disagreement with Chakotay?"  She moved towards her younger double and squatted again so they were at eye level with each other.  "Take all those feelings of isolation and abandonment…and multiply them a hundred fold.  Then you'll begin to have the barest hint of what it was like."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that…but does that really justify sabotaging the Mallorian reactor?"

"That reactor was going to overload no matter what I did.  At least this way Voyager will still have a Captain."

"And the Mallorians will be helpless."

Her double stood up in frustration.  "I can't believe I was ever this pig-headed," she muttered, striding across the cave.

"I can't believe I would ever be this selfish."

"I ended up here because I put everyone else's safety before mine.  I saved B'Elanna's life."  She moved back over to join her.  "I'm doing this for you, Captain, not for me.  I've already been here five years.  I've already lost everything and everyone I ever cared about.  I did all this so that you wouldn't have to go through what I did."  She sighed and looked at the ground.  "Just think how many regrets you would have right now if you knew you were never going to see Chakotay or the crew again."  Her double lowered herself to her level again.  "But you will have a chance to make up for those regrets.  Those missed opportunities.  _That is why I did this.  Not for me."_

Captain Janeway remained silent, watching her double with interest.

"The irony is," she sighed heavily, "I didn't realize how much he meant to me until there were no more chances to tell him."  She reached over and rested her hand on her younger self's shoulder.  "I'm giving you that chance.  I need you to promise me something, Captain.  When this is over, tell Chakotay everything."

Her eyes widened.  "You know I can't promise that."

She looked down at the ground in frustration.  "You still don't understand," she said emotionally.  "You've wasted so many years.  It stops here, Kathryn."

"What happened to you doesn't give you the right to tell me --"

"I'm not trying to dictate to you," she snapped.  "I'm trying to make you realize that you have something special here, and you're bound and determined to ignore it."

"What I want is irrelevant."

"'Irrelevant?'" she snorted.  "You sound like Seven."

"I'm the Captain.  I don't have the luxury of a personal relationship, especially with my First Officer.  You should know that as well as I do."

The elder Janeway leaned closer.  "You know what I realized, being alone here?  That's just a convenient excuse I used as a safety net."

"It's not an excuse," she argued.  "It --"

"Don't bother.  I went through every reason that I know you're thinking of right now.  And none of them matter when you've lost everything.  If you had been kept away from him for five years, not knowing if he was all right, I doubt any of that would matter to you right now either."

"And if you still had a crew to think about," returned the Captain, "I doubt you would be able to dismiss those objections so easily."

*

"I think I've got something, Commander," said Lieutenant Ayala.

Chakotay moved forward to stand beside the security officer.  "What is it?"

"Human biosigns."  Ayala frowned and examined his tricorder in the dim light of the cave before turning to Chakotay with a puzzled frown.  "Two of them."

"Where?"

Ayala pointed to the fork in the cave ahead of them.  "About fifty meters in that direction."

There was a low rumble and they felt a tremor in the caves.

_Torres to Chakotay._

"Go ahead."

_The core's destabilizing.  I'd get out of there if I were you._

"We're closing in, B'Elanna.  We'll be out of here in a few minutes."

_You don't have that long.  We've evacuated the core.  There's no way we can stop --_

"B'Elanna?"

The ground shook underneath them, and rocks began to fall from the ceiling.

"She's blown the reactor!" yelled one of the Mallorians.  The Mallorian guards shoved the officers out of the way and ran towards the tunnel.

"Hey!" shouted Chakotay.  "What do you think you're doing?"

*

The heads of both Janeways snapped up.

"Do you hear that?"

The elder Janeway reached for the wall as the ground shook under them.  "The reactor must have blown," she said her eyes wide.

"If that's true, why are you still here?"

"Don't start with the temporal mechanics, Captain.  I --"

"There!" shouted a voice.

They turned around to see three Mallorian guards with their weapons raised.  The elder Janeway reached for the phaser she had stuck in her belt, but they fired before she even had a chance to get her hand around it.  She was hit in the shoulder and fell back against the wall with a thud.

The Captain took cover behind a rock as the Mallorians fired above her head.  She could hear more weapons fire, and when she stole a glance out of her hiding spot she saw the Mallorians were being fired upon from behind.  Chakotay and Lieutenant Ayala darted out of the passageway behind the Mallorians and take cover, firing on them, and she could see at least two more security officers still in the tunnel.

"Captain, are you all right?" yelled Chakotay over the phaser fire.

"I'm fine, Commander."

Chakotay motioned for Ayala to cover him and made a dash for where she was concealed.  The Mallorians opened fire, but they missed and struck the rock wall behind him.

The cave rumbled and shook again, louder this time.

"Kathryn!" yelled Chakotay, ducking behind a rock halfway between the exit and the Captain's position.  "Come on!"

She started to move towards him, but the cave rocked again, and the last thing she remembered was looking up to see the roof collapsing on her.

*

Coughing from the dust hanging in the air, Chakotay tried to sit up.  He winced at the stabbing pain that shot through his shoulder.  Glancing over, he saw that the shoulder of his uniform was torn and bloody.

He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked around him.  The dust from the cave-in was still settling, but he could see that most of the roof of the cave seemed to have come down.

He turned to where the Mallorians and his officers had been standing, but he saw nothing but a wall of rock.  The cave-in had completely collapsed the passageway, cutting him off from the others.  He hit his commbadge.  "Chakotay to Ayala."  There was no response.  "Chakotay to Voyager."

The only sound was the clinking of the last few rocks falling from the ceiling.

He heard a soft groan and his chest suddenly tightened as he remembered the last few seconds before the roof had come down.  "Captain?"

He looked beside him, but saw a pile of rock where he had last seen her.  "Kathryn!"

If the sudden chill in his blood wasn't evidence enough, he could see her hand protruding from under the rocks.  He ran over and began frantically digging at the pile, attempting to reach her.

"Get away from there!" yelled a voice.

A hand suddenly grabbed one of his arms and twisted it behind his back, and he was dragged backwards along the floor of the cave.  He struggled against his attacker, and managed to free his arm.  Sitting on the ground, he reached around and yanked their ankles, sending them to the floor with a thud.  He scrambled over the ground, pinning his opponent's arms down.  When they stopped struggling, he managed to get a look at his attacker's face for the first time.

He released her arms in shock.  "Kathryn?"

She sat up, equally stunned.  "Chakotay," she said quietly, her voice trembling.

"What…?"  After his initial shock passed, it dawned on him that the woman in front of him was not Kathryn Janeway.  Or at least not the Kathryn Janeway he knew.

"I…thought you were one of the Mallorians," she explained.

"Who are you?"

"I'll explain later.  Where's the Captain?"

The horrible feeling of dread returned with a vengeance.  "Over there."  He climbed to his feet and offered her a hand, helping her up.  She helped him clear away the debris and rocks until they saw her.

The color drained from Chakotay's face when he saw her fragile form laying motionless under the rock and the pool of blood slowly spreading from her head.  He reached over and rested his hand on the clammy skin of her face, tapping gently.  "Kathryn?"  His voice became more urgent.  "Kathryn?"

He fumbled with the tricorder in his belt.  When his trembling hands finally freed it from its holster, he opened it and scanned her.

"Is she going to be all right?" asked the Captain's double.

His mind was racing frantically and he had to blink a few times before he was able to register what was on the readouts.  "She's got major head trauma…internal hemorrhaging…and three fractured vertebrae."

"Is she going to be all right?" she repeated with more urgency.

He closed the tricorder and looked over his shoulder at her.  "Not without medical attention."

She sat down heavily on the ground and closed her eyes.  "I was trying to save her," she said quietly.  "Not get her killed."

"_You kidnapped her?" _

She smiled sadly.  "It's a long story…but your eyes aren't playing tricks on you, Chakotay."

Beside them, the Captain groaned softly and her eyes fluttered open.  Chakotay moved to her side, leaning over her.  "Kathryn?  Can you hear me?"

"What happened?" she whispered hoarsely.

"The reactor overload caused a cave-in."

Her eyes widened.  "Overload…"  She tried to sit up.  "B'Elanna?"

He held her down.  "Don't try to move."

"Is B'Elanna all right?"

He frowned in confusion.  "I don't know, the communicators aren't working.  But what makes you think she wouldn't be?"

She shook her head weakly.  "Long story."  Her eyelids slowly started to droop.

He grabbed her by the shoulder.  "Kathryn?  Stay with me!"

She mumbled something incoherent, and her head rolled to the side.

"Kathryn?  Kathryn, answer me!"  He touched her face, trying to get her to react, but she was unresponsive.

The elder Janeway lowered her head to her bent knees.  "The reactor overload caused a cave-in," she said quietly to herself.  She picked up a rock and hurled it across the cave.  It clattered to the floor.  "Why didn't I anticipate that?" she demanded angrily.

He looked around warily at the walls as a few more rocks fell from the roof.  "I don't think we're safe here," he said.  "These caves don't seem very stable."

"We can't move her with those kind of injuries."

He looked back at Kathryn's motionless form.  He had to stare at her for a long time before he could even determine that she was still breathing.  Her face was ashen, contrasting sharply with a trickle of bright red blood that was running down her face from a cut on her forehead.

"No," he admitted finally.  "I suppose we shouldn't."

"Besides, won't Voyager be looking for you?"

He nodded.  "I guess we'll just have to wait."  He turned and stared at her for a long few seconds.  "It seems we'll have time for that long story of yours."


	7. Truths

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER SEVEN: TRUTHS

Clawing through the last remaining rocks, Tom could hear voices on the other side.  He held up his hand at Ensign Molina and Lieutenant Rollins to stop digging at the rocks blocking the exit so he could hear.

"Hello?" he called.

"Tom?" came B'Elanna's voice from the other side of the rock.

He sighed with relief and began digging furiously.  His efforts paid off when a shaft of light broke through the wall.  Rollins and Molina helped him, and they slowly enlarged the hole until they could see crew from Voyager digging on the other side as well.

The hole was soon big enough to crawl through, and Tom ushered the two officers with him out of the cavern before he followed them, squeezing through the hole in the collapsed rock.

He squinted when his eyes met the bright light from one of the flashlights, and it was hard to make out anything around him.  He was grabbed by the arms and helped out of the small hole they had created.

He smiled at the first face he saw when his eyes readjusted to the darkness, and he stepped forward to wrap his arms around B'Elanna, pulling her to his chest almost frantically.

When he finally pulled away, he smiled and put his hands on either side of her head.  "I never thought I'd be so glad to see your face."

She seemed glad to see him as well, but had something else on her mind.  "Have you seen Chakotay?"

He frowned.  "No, we split up.  He took Ayala, Larson and MacAlister and went…"  His stomach plunged to the floor when he saw Lieutenant Ayala over B'Elanna's shoulder.  He looked back at his wife.  "Where is he?"

"We don't know."

"There was a cave-in," explained Ayala, stepping forward.  "We were separated from him and the Captain."

"The Captain?  You found her?"

Ayala nodded.  "The Mallorians fired on her before we even got to her."

"They what?"

"They said something about her blowing the reactor, then they just took off.  The Commander was trying to get her out of there when the whole roof caved in."

"Can we get a transporter lock on them?" he asked B'Elanna.

She shook her head.  "The radiation level from the core is too high.  We can't even scan the inside of the cave."

*

"You've been here…with the Mallorians…for five years?"

She nodded mutely.

"Were you…the only one?"

"Stranded here?"  She looked down at the ground.  "Yes."

He watched her try to hide the pain on her face, but couldn't think of anything to say.

She looked up, and there were tears brimming in her eyes.  "It's so good to see you again, Chakotay," she said, her voice cracking.

She slid closer to him on the ground and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He was too surprised at first to react.  He couldn't remember the last time he had been this close to Kathryn…if ever.  He could feel the heat from her body against his chest, and her soft hair gently brushed against his cheek.  Despite the fact that this was not really the Kathryn Janeway he knew, his heart still ached for her.  He could almost feel her pain, as if it was transmitted by the physical contact.

Slowly, he put his arms around her, and when he did she let out a sob and squeezed him tighter.

After a moment, she pulled away and turned her head, wiping tears from her eyes.  "I'm sorry, it's just…"

He put his hand on her shoulder.  "It's all right."

They looked around the cavern as it rumbled and a few rocks fell from the ceiling.

"Has this ever happened in any of the previous loops?" he asked.

She laughed softly.  "No.  To my knowledge I'm the first one to try actually holding myself hostage."  The small smile on her face evaporated.  "I wouldn't have done it if I thought this would happen."

"Why did you?  I thought you would try and stop the reactor from overloading."

"I have tried that.  The first time, Tom was thrown back as well and separated from B'Elanna.  The second time, B'Elanna was killed.  The third time…well, here I am.  I decided it was time for a change of strategy."

"So you kidnapped her?"

She glanced down at the ground.  "It wasn't supposed to be like this.  I was trying to spare her…from what I went through."  She ran her fingers through her hair.  "Can you imagine what it's like to have your entire life suddenly ripped away from you?  Everyone you cared about…gone in an instant.  Spending five years on an alien planet with nothing for company but your own regrets."

He couldn't think of anything to say, so he reached over and rested his hand on her knee.  She clasped it gratefully.

"You have no idea how much I've missed this," she said, running her thumb over his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Kathryn.  It must have been awful for you."

"For you too, having to command Voyager alone."  She looked up at him, and it felt as though her eyes were penetrating him down to his soul.  "You were still there when the reactor overloaded.  You were the only one who wouldn't leave."

"I would never abandon you."

"I know…and you never knew how much that meant to me.  I never got a chance to tell you…"  She removed her hand from his and reached up to rest it along the side of his face.  "There was never a day that went by that I didn't wish that things were different.  I was too proud and too scared and too damned stubborn to do anything but tell myself that there was no other way it could be.  I was the Captain.  There were certain boundaries that I had to maintain…no matter how much or how often I wished that I didn't.  But then…everything I had ever known, everyone I cared about, everyone I _loved…" _

Her voice trailed off as she gently stroked his cheek with her fingertips.

"When I woke up here…and you were gone…those boundaries seemed so unimportant.  It felt like they had cost me so many years that I…"

He rested his hand on her shoulder.  "Kathryn…"

"You think you have all the time in the world…until one day you wake up and that world is gone."

*

Tom leaned forward incredulously on the conference room table.  "You're not suggesting we just sit here and wait around?"

Tuvok raised an eyebrow.  "That is precisely what I am suggesting.  It will be safer to wait until the seismic activity in the caves has subsided before we make any rescue attempt."

Tom jumped up from the table.  "They could be dead by then!  We have to do something now!"

The Vulcan stood as well.  "May I remind you, Mr. Paris, that in the absence of Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, I am in command."

"Fine.  Throw me in the brig.  Bust me down to crewman for insubordination if you want."  He leaned in closer so that his face was inches from Tuvok's.  "I'll scrub plasma conduits for the rest of the trip if it means we get them back in one piece."

Tuvok returned his stare for a few seconds before he answered.  "If you have a suggestion, Mr. Paris, then by all means share it."

*

"Did you hear that?"

Chakotay nodded as he looked around the cave warily.  "The tremors are increasing."

The cave shifted under their feet again, and rocks began to fall from the ceiling.

"We have to get out of here," he said, starting towards the inert form of the Captain.

"Moving her will aggravate her injuries."

He knelt beside Kathryn, gathering her in his arms.  "This cave is going to come down any minute.  We don't have a choice."

She thought for a moment, then agreed with a nod.  "We can't get out the same way we came in…but there's another access shaft about three hundred meters down the passageway.  We can use it to get to the surface."

"Let's go."

She took one last look around at the unstable walls before she followed him.

They made their way unsteadily along the half-collapsed passageway, stepping around rocks and coughing as the dust still hanging in the air irritated their lungs.  After they had been walking a little ways, there was another tremor and they both stumbled as the ground shifted violently under them.

Chakotay reached out with one hand to steady himself against the wall as the tunnel shook around them, keeping both arms around the limp form cradled in his arms.  Ahead of him, the Captain's double stumbled to her knees.

Before she pulled herself to her feet, the cave trembled again and they were both hard pressed to keep their balance.

"The tremors are getting worse!" he said over the clatter of rocks falling from the roof.

"We have to keep moving!" she yelled back.

Before they could take more than a few steps down the tunnel, part of the roof caved in, sending a shower of heavy rocks onto them.

One of the rocks struck Chakotay on the side of the head and he fell to the ground, momentarily stunned.  The unconscious Captain Janeway slid from his arms.

The torrent of rocks slowed after a few seconds then stopped.  As the dust began to settle, Chakotay slowly pushed himself off the ground.

He could hear her concerned voice before he saw her.  "Chakotay!"

He coughed before he found his voice.  "Are you all right?"

She emerged from the dust in front of him.  "I'm fine.  The Captain?"

He looked down at the unmoving form beside him.  He had managed to shield her from the worst of the falling rocks.  "I don't think she suffered any more injuries."

"I can't say the same for you," she said with concern, kneeling beside him.  She reached over and took his chin in her hand, turning his head to get a better look at the cut on his temple.

"It's superficial," he assured her.

She pulled back from him slightly to look him in the eye.  He reached up and rested his hand over his.  "Kathryn, I'm fine.  Really."

She pulled her hand out from under his and slumped to the ground, leaning back against the wall of the tunnel.  She slowly squeezed her eyes shut.  "You could have been killed," she whispered.  "Maybe she was right.  Maybe I am being selfish."

"I've never known you to be selfish."

"In my timeline, you haven't known me for five years.  I kept telling myself that I was doing this for her…but now she's dying, you're injured, who knows what happened in the reactor core…"

"I admire what you did, Kathryn.  Trying to spare her from the pain of being separated from everyone.  I don't think it was selfish…I just think that you were a little reckless, as usual."

She opened her eyes again and turned to look at him.  She reached over and traced his tattoo with her fingertips before laying the palm of her hand against the side of his face.  Slowly, she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips.  As soon as the contact between them was broken, she kissed him again, deeper and harder.  He seemed to resist at first, but gave in after a few seconds.

She was the one who pulled away at last, moving her fingertips on his face.

"I never wanted to cause you pain, Chakotay," she whispered.

"I know that."

"I just…I needed…I don't know what I needed.  A good push, maybe.  But you could never push me."

"I thought it would make things worse."

"It might have, at first."  She smiled, and her eyes were drawn to the Captain, unconscious on the ground next to them.  "But I probably would have come around in the end."

"I wish I'd known that," he said sincerely.

"Now you do."  She returned her attention to his head, wiping away the blood with the edge of her sleeve.  "We should get moving," she said, standing up and offering him a hand.  He took it with his uninjured arm and pulled himself up.  Their eyes remained locked on each other for a few seconds before Chakotay turned away and picked up the Captain.  He grimaced as he lifted her into his arms, straining the injured muscles in his shoulder.

"Come on," she said, starting to make her way over the rocky terrain of the cavern.  "The access shaft should be just around the next bend."

*

Tom looked over Harry's shoulder at the map on the PADD one last time as he put his phaser in the holster on his belt.

"You're sure that will lead to the caverns?"

Harry nodded.  "Sensors show that is goes down at least a hundred meters.  The caverns are about a hundred and fifty meters down, so my guess is it's the same kind of lift that you used to get down there last time.  It should take us to within three hundred meters of their last known position."

Tom lifted up a bag and slung it over his shoulder.  "Well, I've got the rappelling equipment just in case we have to take the hard way down."

He stepped up onto the transporter pad and was followed by Harry and four security officers, all armed.

B'Elanna was at the transporter controls.  "Be careful, flyboy."

He nodded with a grin, and she smiled back before looking down at the console and energizing.

*

She grunted as she tried to force open the door of the access shaft.  She gave it another push, then slumped against it.  "You'll have to help me."

Chakotay gently set the Captain down on the ground.  He propped her up against the wall, her head rolling limply to the side.

He moved over to the doors and helped her push them open to reveal the small lift that was inside.  He picked up the Captain again and carried her onto the lift, joined by her double.

Living on Mallor for five years had allowed her to become familiar with their technology, and it only took her a few seconds to figure out how to operate the lift.  The rock shaft shuddered again as the lift moved slowly up the shaft.

"How far up is it?" he asked.

"About a hundred and fifty meters.  It should only take us a minute or two to reach the surface."

About halfway up the shaft, the lift suddenly stopped its upward progression.  It fell out from under them for a fraction of a second before the emergency brakes activated and it jolted to a stop, throwing them around the small platform.

She pulled herself up and examined the readouts on the small panel.  "One of the magnetic seals failed."

He started to go help her, but his attention was drawn to the Captain on the floor beside him when he heard her groan.

"Kathryn?" he said, moving to her side.

Her eyes slowly opened and she tried to push herself into a sitting position.  She let out a cry and fell back to the floor.

"You have fractured vertebrae," he told her.  "Don't try to move."

In incredible pain, she didn't answer him right away, gasping for breath.

"What's…what's going on?" she managed to ask after a few seconds.

"We're taking a lift to the surface," her double informed her.  "Unfortunately, we've hit a snag."

Chakotay could see the agony on her face.  "How bad is it?"

"I'll manage."

"I'm going to see if I can restore the magnetic seal," said the elder Janeway at the controls.  She hit a few buttons on the console and the lift moved up a few meters before it suddenly dropped again.

When the emergency brakes activated and jerked the lift to a stop, the Captain screamed as the violent movement jolted her fractured vertebrae.

Her double turned around with concern.  "Sorry."

Chakotay rested his hand along her face.  "Kathryn?"

There was a burning pain in her chest and pressure building in her lungs.  "I…can't breathe," she gasped.

He frowned and pulled his tricorder out of his belt.  His face clouded over as he scanned her.  "You've got two broken ribs.  One of them punctured your lung on that last jolt."

"Then I guess…we'd better…get out of here," she said, still short of breath.

"Looks like one of the power relays is offline," said the elder Janeway as she worked.  "That's why the magnetic seal failed."

"Can you bypass it?"

"I'll try."  She glanced over her shoulder.  "If it doesn't work we're going to be in for a bumpy ride."

"Understood," said the Captain through clenched teeth.

"Here goes nothing," muttered her double before pressing a button on the console.

The lift dropped out from under them and again jolted violently to a stop.  Beside him, Chakotay heard the Captain cry out.  He looked over at her just in time to see her eyes close and her head roll limply to the side.

"Kathryn?" he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

She was unresponsive, so he returned his attention to her double.  "I take it whatever you tried didn't work?"

She was pulling herself off the floor of the platform, and turned to check the console.  Her shoulders fell and she rested her forehead on the panel in front of her.  "The power matrix is completely fused.  We're never going to get that last seal working."

Chakotay looked up the seemingly endless shaft.  "Are we going to have to climb this?"

"There's no way we're going to get this lift moving again."  She stared at her unmoving double, then turned back suddenly to the console.  "Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"The other magnetic seals are still functioning, they just aren't giving the lift enough power to move with us on it."

"So?"

She stood facing the rock wall in front of her with her hands braced on either side of the console.  "So if there are only two people on the lift then it would probably make it to the top."

He stood up.  "What?"

"If there are only two of you on the lift the remaining magnetic seals should be enough to make it to the top.  If I get off -- "

"No."

"Chakotay…"

The shaft rumbled around them as another tremor shook the caverns below them.  "You'd never make it."

She stared back at him without answering, obviously having come to that conclusion herself.

"I'm not just going to let you die!"

"Chakotay…we both know I don't belong here."

"I can't leave you."

"Get her to safety."

"I plan to, but you're coming with me.  You said I didn't abandon you in your timeline.  I'm not going to in mine either.  We're doing this together."

"There's no other way."

"Kathryn Janeway would never give up.  Not even one from an alternate timeline.  We'll find a way."

*

The away team followed Ensign Kim as he made his way around the rubble in the atrium.  The seismic activity in the caverns below the city had caused structural damage to the entire power facility, and there were crumbled walls, pillars, and pieces of the roof everywhere.

The ground shook beneath their feet with another tremor, and they all had to grab something for support to remain standing.

"We're almost there," Harry assured them, turning into a corridor.  "It should only be another twenty-five meters --"

He was cut off in mid-sentence by Taman yelling at them from behind.

"What are you doing back here?" he demanded, standing farther down the corridor.

"Our commanding officers are missing," explained Tom, frowning at his hostile tone.  "We think they're trapped in the subterranean caverns."

"They deserve to rot there," snarled Taman.

"Excuse me?" said Tom incredulously.

"You heard me."

"You can't be serious," he said, glancing back at Harry, who gave him a puzzled shrug.

"You are responsible for our reactor overload."

"_What?  We sent our away team down to help you."_

"The device planted in the power matrix was your technology."

"We have no idea how it got there," said Harry, stepping up beside Tom.

"I know exactly how it got there.  Your Captain planted it."

Tom and Harry glanced at each other.  "What?" said Harry.

"That's ridiculous," protested Tom.  "Nobody has even seen her since we beamed in."

"And what reason would she have for sabotaging your reactor?" added Harry.

Taman stepped forward and glared at them.  "She's been trying to destroy it for years."

Tom and Harry looked at each other again, completely mystified.

"This is absurd," said Tom as the floor shifted under their feet again.  "We're trying to rescue our people.  We can discuss this all you want when we're finished."

He turned around abruptly and motioned for the away team to move ahead of him down the corridor.

Taman watched them leave, then tilted his head backwards to an unseen figure in the shadows and gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

A guard emerged from a doorway, and was trailed by a dozen armed Mallorians as they followed the away team down the corridor.


	8. The Price of Victory

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE PRICE OF VICTORY

"You said the other magnetic seals were still functioning?"

The Captain's double looked up from the panel she was working on.  "It looks like it."

"Those seals alone aren't enough to get the lift moving…but is there enough power to spread to the seal that's not working?"

Her eyes lit up as she instantly grasped his train of thought.  "If we diverted power from the other seals to the one with the fused matrix…"

"None of them would be at full power, but it might be enough to get the lift moving again."

She moved to a panel on the railing of the lift and entered a series of commands on the console, then took a deep breath and hit the button.

The lift slowly began moving up towards the top of the shaft.

Chakotay sighed with relief, but she looked towards the surface warily.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Bucar mtarrak jalor cimtar il." The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile.  "It's a Mallorian phrase.  'Beyond every hurdle lays another.'"

"I've always thought of you as an optimist," he said, eyeing her with curiosity.

"Five years ago…yes, I guess you could say I was an optimist.  Or at least, I liked to ignore risks.  But now…experience has taught me otherwise."  She looked up the shaft again as the platform continued to mount.  "Who knows what we'll find at the top."

*

Lieutenant Ayala kept his head down as he dragged the injured Ensign Parsons to cover.

"What's going on?" Harry yelled over the weapons fire.

"I think it's the Mallorians!" Lieutenant Rollins yelled back.

"They came up from behind!" clarified Ayala.

Ayala, Parsons, and Rollins were on one side of the corridor, while Tom, Harry, and Crewman Dalby were on the other.  They were being fired on by unseen assailants positioned farther down the passageway.

Tom ducked as one of the shots hit the fallen beam that he was crouched behind.

"How far to the shaft?"

Harry checked his tricorder.  "Only fifty meters or so."

"Can you walk?" Rollins asked Ensign Parsons.

The young man nodded.  "It's just my shoulder."

Tom motioned to Ayala to help him lay down cover fire.  Poking their heads above the debris that they were concealed behind, they fired repeatedly at the Mallorians while Harry led the three security officers down the corridor towards the shaft that led to the tunnels.  Tom and Ayala followed after a few seconds, continuing to fire at the Mallorians to keep them at bay.

*

The elder Janeway sighed with relief when she could finally see light at the end of the tunnel above them.  It only took a few seconds for the pinpoint of light to grow larger, and soon she could see the edge of the shaft.

She felt Chakotay rest his hand on the small of her back, and she looked over her shoulder with a smile.

Her smile faded as the lift approached the surface and they could hear the sounds of weapons fire and shouting.

The lift reached the end of the shaft before they even had a chance to wonder what was going on.  There was still dust and smoke hanging in the air, and it was hard to see anything except the occasional beam from the phaser fire being exchanged.

Chakotay pushed her down to the ground as one of the phaser shots struck the wall behind them.

"Chakotay!"

He looked up to see Tom and Harry approaching them as the other security officers laid down cover fire.

"What's going on?"

Tom ducked as another shot came close above their heads.  "The Mallorians are attacking us.  They think we were responsible for the core…"  He trailed off suddenly as he noticed for the first time that there were three people on the lift.

"I'll explain later," said Chakotay.

Tom raised an eyebrow, but then frowned as he noticed that the Captain wasn't moving.  "Is she..."

"No, but we need to get her to Sickbay."

Tom nodded and ducked as the Mallorian phaser fire came close to them again.  "Paris to Voyager."

_Go ahead, said Tuvok._

"We've found…"  He glanced at the Captain's double, who couldn't seem to pull her eyes away from his face.  "…them.  Can you get a transporter lock on us?"

_Negative.  You must move farther away from the radiation._

"We'll try.  Paris out."  He turned to Chakotay.  "We're going to have to get past the Mallorians."

"Is there another way out?"

Harry checked the schematics on his tricorder.  "That way," he said, pointing in the opposite direction from the corridor where the Mallorians were positioned.

Chakotay started to pick up the Captain, but Tom noticed his wounded shoulder and held him back.  "I'll carry her."

He picked up her limp form and the away team started to back away from the Mallorians towards the other corridor.  The security team continued firing to keep the Mallorians at bay, and they made it to the passageway and moved along it quickly.

"I don't think they're following us, sir," said Ayala over his shoulder.

Harry had his tricorder out in front of him.  "We should be able to get a transporter lock soon.  We're almost past the critical radiation level."

They rounded a corner and came to an intersection of four different corridors.  Chakotay turned around to ask Harry which direction would be the shortest route away from the center of the radiation, but froze when he saw a group of Mallorian guards approaching them from the passageway to their right.

"Take cover!" he yelled, pulling his phaser out of its holster.

The security officers followed his lead and drew their phasers on the approaching Mallorians despite being clearly outnumbered.  

"Chakotay to Voyager."

_Go ahead, Commander._

"Can you get a lock on us now?"

B'Elanna responded instead of Tuvok, and he could hear the anxiety in her voice.  _I'm working on it, Chakotay._

He sighed heavily and tilted his head towards Tom without taking his eyes off the Mallorians.  "Tom, get the Captain back to Voyager."

Tom frowned.  "What about the rest of you?"

"We'll stay here and see if we can work things out with the Mallor--"

"Throw down your weapons!" threatened a voice from behind them.

They turned around to see another group of heavily armed Mallorians approaching them from the corridor opposite the guards already in position.  They were now outnumbered at least three to one by the looks of it, with a group on either side of them.  They knew the guards they had left behind would soon be following them as well, so that left only avenue of escape.

Chakotay caught Tom's eye and jerked his head toward the passageway that was still free, but as soon as Tom started to move the Mallorians reacted.

"Stay where you are!" yelled one of them, stepping forward with his weapon raised.

"Lower your weapons!" shouted another.

Chakotay wavered, hesitant to surrender but unwilling to let the conflict escalate.  He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked to see the Captain's double slowly stepping around him.  He frowned.  "Kathryn -- "

She ignored him and pushed herself to the front of the group, facing one of the Mallorian leaders.  "Let them go," she said firmly.

"There are some people who want to speak to them.  Very important people who no longer have a tachyon reactor."

She took another step away from the group.  "I'm the one you want.  They have nothing to do with this."

Chakotay reacted instantly.  "Kathryn!" he hissed.

She turned her head to the side, staring at the ground beside her feet.  "Get everyone back to Voyager."

"Don't do this," he pleaded.  Despite his first impression of the Mallorians as a passive, civilized people, he was beginning to see that they had a ruthless and vindictive undercurrent to their personalities.  He knew she would not be safe if he left her at their mercy.

"I don't belong on Voyager anymore," she said softly.  "I want you to make sure everyone gets back safely."

"I can't leave you here."

She finally raised her eyes from the ground and looked at him for a long time before she spoke.  "That's an order, Commander."

"Surrender or we will open fire!" yelled one of the Mallorians, desperation creeping into his voice.

Her expression became more urgent.  "If you don't get everyone back to Voyager the past five years will all have been for nothing," she whispered.  "Don't let that happen."

"B'Elanna will be able to get us out of here," he argued.

She glanced at the Mallorians as they inched closer, then on a sudden impulse reached up and removed a pendant that was hanging around her neck.  She took his hand and quickly pressed it into his palm, then closed his fingers over it.

"So I would always have you near me," she said quietly.

"This is your last warning!" yelled one of the Mallorians again, nearly screaming.

She backed away from him, not breaking eye contact until she turned to face the Mallorians.

"Throw down your weapons!" one of them yelled.

She stared back coldly, a strange mirror to the tension and anger in the Mallorians whose weapons were pointed at her.  "Let them go."

_Torres to Chakotay.  I've got a lock on you.  Preparing to energize._

"They're going to escape!" yelled one of the guards.__

One of the Mallorians across from the Captain's double raised his weapon higher so that it was level with her chest.  "Tell your ship to stand down."

Before she had a chance to reply, the transporter activated.

The Mallorian pulled the trigger, and the discharge from his weapon hit her squarely in the chest.  The force of the blast made her take a step back, then she began to fall as they dematerialized.

Chakotay caught her limp form as the away team reappeared in Sickbay.  He barely had time to be thankful that B'Elanna had had the presence of mind to beam them there directly before he saw the sickening scorched area on her chest.

The Doctor approached the group immediately and saw the Captain in Tom's arms first.  He directed him to the surgical bay, and Tom carried her over and left her in the Doctor's care while he returned to Chakotay and the elder Janeway.

Chakotay gently laid the Captain's double on the floor as she gasped for breath.  "Kathryn?  Can you hear me?"

She looked around, a serene smile on her face.  "Voyager," she whispered.

"That's right," he said, resting his hand along the side of her face.

Tom's face clouded over as he scanned her.  He put his hand on Chakotay's shoulder, and when he looked up Tom shook his head slowly.

His eyes widened in horror and he looked back at the woman laying on the ground.

"It's so good…to be back," she said softly.  Her peaceful expression faded suddenly.  "The Captain?"

He glanced over his shoulder at the bustle of activity around her in the surgical bay before he turned back to her.  "I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Then it wasn't…for nothing," she whispered, short of breath.  Her eyelids fluttered closed.

He shook her shoulder.  "Kathryn!  Stay with me!"

Her eyes slowly opened again after a few seconds, but her gaze seemed clouded over and unfocused.  She looked around aimlessly until her eyes met his face.  "I'm sorry," she whispered, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

He panicked, seeing her slipping away before his eyes.  He reached down and took her hand, pressing it to his chest as if he would be able to keep her alive from the contact.  "Kathryn!"

Her eyes closed.  Her head rolled limply to the side and she was motionless.

Still clutching her hand to his chest, he closed his eyes as the emotions washed over him.  He sank down to the floor, unwilling to leave her.  He reached over and slowly closed her eyes with his fingertips, then traced his hand over the scar on her cheek.

"There was too much damage from the disruptor blast," Tom said softly.  "There was nothing we could have done."

Chakotay nodded and his eyes were drawn to the surgical bay.

"She's going to be fine," Tom assured him, following his gaze and reading his thoughts.

He didn't answer and looked back at the motionless form next to him.  Tom gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder, then rose and moved back to the surgical bay to assist the Doctor.

As he sat there, Chakotay felt something in his hand and remembered the pendant she had given him right before she was shot.  He had unconsciously kept his fist clenched around it, and the pendant and the soft piece of material that held it had made an imprint in his hand.  He slowly lifted it up and examined it.

It was a soft polished stone, about three centimeters square, soft blue with subtle streaks of darker colors running through it.  It had lines carved in its surface, obviously done by hand.  The lines were extremely delicate and the pattern appeared quite detailed…and it seemed very familiar.  He was sure he recognized it.

It took him a few seconds to realize that he had it upside down, and his eyes widened as he righted it and the familiar design immediately fell into place.

It was his tattoo.


	9. Second Chances

DISCLAIMER: You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

CAUSALITY

CHAPTER NINE: SECOND CHANCES

Fragmented thoughts slowly penetrated the Captain's consciousness.  The first thing she became aware of was that the burning pain in her side was gone and it no longer hurt to move.  She could tell she was somewhere bright and warm, but her thoughts were too sluggish to piece together where that might be.

After a few seconds, she became aware of a voice and a hand on her shoulder.

"Captain?  Can you hear me?"

She slowly forced her eyelids open, squinting as the bright lights in the Sickbay roof stung her eyes.  When her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see the Doctor hovering over her.

"Doctor," she said hoarsely, trying to sit up.  The room seemed to spin around her and she fell back on the bed.

"Not so fast, Captain," he said gently.

She heard the doors to Sickbay open, and when she rolled her head to the side she saw Chakotay enter.  His anxious expression evaporated when he met her gaze.  He moved to her side, and as he reached her she tried to sit up again, slower and with the Doctor's help.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Sore…and a little disoriented."

"Understandable," said the Doctor, scanning her with a tricorder.  "You gave us all quite a scare.  Fortunately, due to my medical prowess you'll soon be back on your feet."

He caught a glance from Chakotay and, taking the hint, left him alone with the Captain.  The Doctor moved off to his office and as soon as he was out of hearing range Chakotay turned to the Captain.

"What do you remember?" he asked her.

She frowned.  "I was in the cave…the Mallorians attacked us.  I was trying to reach you, then…everything else is a blur."

"There was a cave-in that cut us off from the rest of the security team," he offered, filling in the blanks.  "You were injured, but we managed to get you to one of the access shafts and make it to the surface."

"_We?  Did you…"_

"Your…double?"

She nodded wordlessly.

"She helped me get you to the surface.  She…was shot by the Mallorians during the escape.  She didn't make it."

She was silent for a few seconds as she absorbed this information.  "Did she tell you…what happened to her?"

"About being stranded with the Mallorians for five years?"  He nodded.  "Yes, she told me."

Her eyes searched his face, trying to determine how much her double had revealed to him.  There was something he wasn't telling her, she was sure.  When she was unable to determine anything from his expression, she changed the subject.

"Are we still in orbit of Mallor Prime?"

"No.  We broke orbit as soon as we made it back to the ship.  If we had stayed any longer I think the Mallorians would have sent ships after us."

The Doctor returned from his office and moved towards the Captain.  "I'd like to run some more tests on the Captain, and she should probably get some rest."

Chakotay nodded and moved to leave.  He took a step away from her side, but then reached over and squeezed her shoulder.  "It's good to have you back, Kathryn."

She arched an eyebrow.  "I didn't realize I was gone."

He smiled.  "It's good to have you back all the same."

She watched him as move out the doors as the Doctor scanned her with a tricorder.  She sat still while he worked, deep in thought, but after a few moments she spoke up quietly.

"Doctor…did you see her?"

"Your alter ego?"  He slowly closed the tricorder.  "In a manner of speaking."

She frowned.  "What do you mean?"

"She was already dead when I examined her."

She thought for a few seconds before she spoke up again.  "How did she die?"

"She was shot point blank with a Mallorian disruptor.  The tissue damage was irreparable."

"No, I mean…_how did she die?  Was it on the planet?"_

"From my understanding, she was shot on the planet and died shortly after the away team made it back to Voyager.  You'll have to ask Commander Chakotay if you want to know more."

She looked up sharply.  "Why?"

"Lieutenant Paris said he was with her when she died."

Her eyes dropped to the floor as she processed this information.  Chakotay had watched her die -- that would explain whatever she had sensed from him.  She could only imagine what her double had said.  Being without him for five years, then laying critically injured, him by her side and only seconds to live…she knew what she might have said in the same situation.

And if he knew half of what her double had told her…

She left the sentence hanging in her mind and let out a deep sigh.  Whatever he knew, she hoped it wouldn't affect their command relationship.  Or their friendship.

*

The doors to the Captain's quarters slid open in front of Chakotay and he stepped tentatively inside.  The room was fairly dark, but after a few seconds his eyes adjusted and he could make out the Captain sitting on one of the couches by the windows.  He moved across the room towards her.

"I see the Doctor finally let you out of confinement."

She chuckled.  "On the condition that I stay off duty for another twenty-four hours."

"I'll try and keep the ship in one piece until then."

She smiled and leaned back on the couch.  "Did you just want to rub it in or was there a reason you stopped by?"

He instantly became serious and sat down in a chair facing her.  "I thought you might be curious about what happened on the surface.  After you were injured."

She looked at him in silence for a few moments, then nodded.

He briefly explained what had happened after the cave-in, but he avoided discussing his conversations with her double and related only the facts of their escape.  When he finished, telling her how there had been nothing they could do to save her double, they sat in silence for a long time.

She scrutinized his face, trying to determine what he was holding back.  "How much did she tell you?"

He knew instantly what she meant.  "She told me it was hard on her, being separated from…the crew.  She said she had a lot of regrets."

Her eyes searched his.  She could tell he was hiding something…but as she continued to look at him, it felt as though he was searching for something in her eyes and she turned away her gaze, uncomfortable.  She turned her eyes to the stars streaking by the window, hoping the steady motion would calm her turbulent thoughts.

He knew she was probably aware of his scrutiny, but he couldn't take his eyes off her face.  It felt like they were close to something, but he wasn't sure whether to push forward or pull back.  Telling her more could destroy their friendship, but he wasn't sure he could hold back.

_"I just…I needed…I don't know what I needed.  A good push, maybe.  But you could never push me."_

_"I thought it would make things worse."_

_"It might have, at first.  But I probably would have come around in the end."_

Could he really trust what her double had said?  Being alone for five years could have twisted her perspective and intensified any feelings she had for him.  What if she was wrong -- what if Kathryn didn't "come around"?  Could he really risk their friendship?

Just then, she turned around from the window, surprised to see him still staring at her.  He felt a pang of guilt at her innocent questioning expression.  In all the years they had known each other, he had always been completely honest with her.  There had never been any secrets between them…how could he leave without telling her everything?

He moved over to sit next to her on the couch.  "Kathryn…I think you deserve to know the rest."

She eyed him carefully.  "The rest of what?"

"The rest of what she told me."

She squeezed her eyes shut.  "Chakotay…don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't say something we'll both regret," she pleaded.

He scrutinized her face and his eyes widened.  "You know what she told me," he said softly.

She looked away from him, trying to slow her racing thoughts.

_"Just think how many regrets you would have right now if you knew you were never going to see Chakotay or the crew again.  But you will have a chance to make up for those regrets.  Those missed opportunities."_

She knew that this, right now, was one of those opportunities.  But despite the voice that was screaming inside her head to tell him, her lips refused to move.  She couldn't tell him.  It could destroy their friendship, their command relationship.  She couldn't let that happen…but could she really keep silent after everything her double had told her?  Everything she knew that she felt as well?

He reached over and rested his hand on her shoulder.  The unexpected gesture broke her resolve and she turned to look at him, emotion shining from her soft blue eyes.

"Of course I know what she told you," she whispered.

He could barely hear his own voice over his heart thumping in his ears.  "And?"

Her lack of restraint didn't last and he saw the flash of pain in her eyes as she turned away from him.  Her silence was enough for him to understand that despite her experience she wasn't ready to open up to him.

He sighed and closed his eyes.  He should have known that even this wasn't enough to overcome her scruples about protocol.  "I should go," he said softly, resting his hand on her shoulder.  She didn't move, still staring out the window.

She barely registered him rising from the couch as she stared out at the stars streaking by the window.  

_"Imagine waking up every morning for five years and not knowing where they were.  If they were safe.  If they finally managed to get home."_

Every Starfleet bone in her body, every instinct she had cultivated over her long career, was telling her to let him go.  But, just as strongly, all her feelings for Chakotay that had been building for the last seven years were begging her to call him back.  

_"I'm trying to make you realize that you have something special here, and you're bound and determined to ignore it."_

The violent storm in her mind increased -- her Starfleet principles against her heart.  The Captain against Kathryn.  Emotions hit her one after the other, making her wince as if she was in physical pain.  She pressed her hands to her ears in an attempt to stop her raging emotions and thoughts.

_"You've wasted so many years.  It stops here, Kathryn."_

"Chakotay."

The chaos in her mind was silenced as he turned around.  He was surprised at the tone of her voice and even more surprised when he saw the emotion in her eyes.  He moved towards her and sat next to her, waiting for her to continue.

"You said," she began softly, "That I deserved to know what happened on the planet.  I think you deserve to know what she told me."

"Kathryn…"  
"No, let me finish.  I may never have the nerve to say this again."

He smiled.  "I've never known you to lack the nerve for anything."

She took a deep breath.  "You know that she had a lot of regrets.  That it killed her, being separated from the crew…from you.  She told me…she wished she had told you…how she felt.  How every day she wished...that she had..."  She paused and looked in his dark eyes, seeing their seven years of trust and friendship reflected back at her, and she knew she didn't have to finish the sentence.

The emotional release was so great that the tears she had been holding back started to run down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her face into his shoulder.  "I don't know what I would do without you," she whispered.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually he pulled away from her.  They stared at each other, their eyes seemingly locked together, then slowly he reached around his neck and removed a pendant that was partially concealed by his uniform.

He fingered the carving on the blue stone.  "She gave this to me," he said slowly.  "On the surface, before she was shot."

He handed it to her and watched her react when she recognized the pattern.  "She wanted to be near you," she said softly.

His eyes widened.  "How did you know that?"

She smiled sadly.  "It seems like something I would do…if I lost you."

Their eyes were fixed on each other again, but after a few seconds the uneasy silence was broken.

"We can talk about this later," said Chakotay, watching her as she examined the pendant.  "I should probably go."

She didn't answer him but offered him the pendant.

He put his hand over hers and closed her fingers over it.  "No, keep it."  He rose from the couch.  "I think she would have wanted you to have it."  He took a deep breath.  "Kathryn…I know that nothing…I know we have to keep our relationship strictly professional.  I know that you need it that way.  Keep the pendant."

He was almost halfway to the door by the time she had control of her voice enough to call after him.  "What if I don't want it?"

He turned around in surprise.  "What?"

She stood up and threw the pendant down on the table.  "I don't want some cold, unfeeling piece of rock.  I want you."

He was too stunned to answer at first as she closed the distance between them.  "Kathryn…"

She reached him and silenced him with a finger over his lips.  "It's taken me a while…but I'm not going to walk away from this.  Not again."

It was obvious he was reluctant to believe her.  She could tell even though he remained resolutely silent.

"I could see what losing you did to her," she continued, her voice beginning to tremble.  "I know what she went through, how her regret consumed her.  I don't want to become that person."  She reached up and rested her hands on his shoulders.  "Who knows what could happen tomorrow, or the day after that.  I don't want to wake up one morning and realize that I've lost what we could have together."

He took her hands in his and gently removed them from his shoulders.  "Kathryn, I want you to take some time to think about this.  I want you to be sure."

"I've wasted seven years waiting to be sure.  I think it's time I did something on faith instead of looking for some kind of justification in rules and protocols."

Before he had a chance to object again, she leaned forward and kissed him.  His resistance only lasted a few seconds before he returned the kiss.  She started to pull away, but he put his hands on her hips and pulled her against his body, leaning down to kiss her again.  When their lips met, she wrapped her arms around his neck as their kiss became more passionate.

They pulled away from each other, panting for breath.  She leaned forward and he kissed her forehead softy.

"I should go," he said softly.

She shook her head and leaned closer to him.  "No.  Stay."

He closed his eyes, trying to shut out her beautiful face that was tempting him to do what she wanted against his better judgment.  "Kathryn, if you change your mind in the morning I don't want to lose your friendship.  Or your respect."

She leaned forward, so close that when she spoke he could feel her lips moving against his.  "I've gone this far…I can't go back.  I don't _want to go back."_

His eyes were still shut, and he leaned forward and rested his head against hers.  He could smell her hair as it brushed against his cheek.  He moved his hands slowly up and down her hips, and she pulled away from him slightly and tilted her head up, kissing him again gently.

When they broke apart again, he sighed.  "What about protocol?" he asked softly.

She shook her head before she answered.  "It doesn't matter."

He placed his hand on her chin and tilted her face up towards him.  "We both know that's not true, Kathryn.

She looked away.  "No," she said slowly.  "But…it's not as important as this."  She looked up at him again.  "Just because there are going to be obstacles doesn't mean we couldn't make it work."

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

She leaned forward and kissed him again.  She put her hand around the back of his head ran her fingers through his hair.

He took this as her answer and followed as she slowly started to back towards her bedroom.  She slipped her hands inside his uniform jacket and started to push it off his shoulders.  He did the same for her as they backed up against the wall that divided her quarters.

They shifted sideways, still locked together.  Chakotay pulled his arms from her long enough to pull his turtleneck and his tank top over his head, and she pulled off her turtleneck as well.

Engrossed in undressing, they backed up against the bed unexpectedly and fell on it in a heap.  Their lips finally broke apart at the fall, and Chakotay found himself laying on top of Kathryn, half on the bed.  He stared at her in silence for a few seconds, mesmerized by her hair splayed out below her head and her heaving chest only partially concealed by the tank top.

The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile and she reached up, tracing his tattoo with her finger.

"I'm sure."

*    *    *

Kathryn shifted slightly on her side, pulling the blankets closer around her.  She could tell it was early, so she didn't open her eyes and allowed herself to remain half asleep, taking comfort in the warmth surrounding her.

_I could feel his arms around me, his breath on the back of my neck.  It was so peaceful, so comforting.  And then I woke up, and he was gone._

Her eyes snapped open in a sudden panic and she lay perfectly still.

When she became sure that she wasn't imagining the rising and falling of his chest next to her back, she relaxed and closed her eyes again with a smile.

She knew that she should wake him.  She wanted a chance to talk before their shifts began…but a few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

Her smile widened as he shifted closer to her in his sleep and put his arm around her waist.

So much had happened to get to this point.  So much loneliness, suffering, and loss.  So many mistakes.

But not his time.

This time, she had done something right.


End file.
